Name Change – Yes Or No?

hello my name is  - name change after wedding The decision for a woman to change her name after marriage or to keep her maiden name is a highly personal choice. Although I took my husband’s name, I respect those women who decide not to change their name.

However . . .

It’s some of the reasoning behind keeping her maiden name that I don’t get. Such as:

    • My name is my identity
      Ok. My name is on my ID, so I suppose that means it is my “identity.” But guess what. It doesn’t define who I am, just labels what I’m called. The essence of me isn’t different. So why would what I am called change who I am?Shakespeare’s quote from Romeo and Juliet comes to mind, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
    • Strong women don’t change their name
      A strong woman knows who she is and what she wants for herself. She knows what is in her heart and isn’t afraid to follow that. A strong woman is confident in her beliefs and choices. So . . . Wouldn’t a “strong woman” remain strong if even she chooses to change her last name?

Change Your Name With MissNowMrs.com

  • The paperwork is so much trouble
    Yes, it is time consuming. You’ll need to change your drivers license, bank accounts, credit cards, and insurance to name a few. And you’ll have to wait until you have certified copies of your marriage license. There are websites to make this process easier, such as The Knot, Miss Now Mrs, and Bride Kit.

Of course, there are plenty of reasons to not change your last name (or using your maiden name as your middle name) that make perfect sense, including:

  • honoring your ancestral heritage,
  • changing your name would be confusing if you’re well established in a career,
  • your maiden name just sounds better (if Rose Archer married Adam Redd she’d be Rose Redd, or if Callie Fisher married Ron Alley she’d be Callie Alley).

As with most things wedding-related, there is no one “right” or “wrong” answer, but what is right or wrong for you and what will work best for you as a couple.

What are your thoughts on a woman changing her name after marriage?

Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

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Have questions or need assistance? Contact me at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net or at 937-235-2586.

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Gender Roles and Wedding Parties

brad & angelina weddingHave you seen the recent article “Brad & Angelina’s Wedding Broke Rules: 15 Other Real Bridal Parties ‘Gone Wild’”?

You can check it out here: brad_angelinas_wedding_broke_rules

Now don’t get me wrong – I am in complete agreement of couples mixing up the traditional gender roles of their bridal party if they want.

But for the author to consider this a “widespread trend” makes it sound like couples are suddenly choosing to mix up the traditional gender roles merely for the sake of doing something untraditional on their wedding day.

And to use the term “Gone Wild” in the article title is, well. . . I’m at a loss for words. Misleading? Unnecessary? Just plain ridiculous?

I suppose it makes for a more interesting title than ‘Couples Choose Who They Want For Their Bridal Party,” which in turn gets more readers. But Gone Wild?

My complaint of this article is not that it is about “bucking the trend,” or having men in traditional womens’ roles, and vice versa, but an attempt to sensationalize what should be (and is) a regular occurrence.

In 20 years of wedding planning, I’ve seen:

  • brides with male attendants
  • and grooms with female attendants
  • couples with only children in their wedding party
  • an adult “flower fairy” (this young lady was about 24 years old, wore a full length black vinyl dress with cobalt blue butterfly wings, and skipped down the aisle dropping flower petals)
  • a mother-of-the-bride who was a bridesmaid
  • a father-of-the-groom who was the best man

And in all of these instances, no one batted an eye! None of the guests were confused or felt that it was an affront to what was “supposed” to be done.

Why? Because all of these choices made sense for each couple, and represented what (and who) was important to them.

Bottom line – our nearest and dearest come in a wide array of shapes, sizes, colors, ages, genders – you name it. There is no “rule” to govern who is important in our lives. So why should there be a “rule” which defines how their roles can represent, express, celebrate, and the meaningful events in our lives?

So choose who YOU WANT to choose and celebrate with the people YOU WANT to celebrate with!

Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

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If you have questions or are looking for ideas for your wedding, contact me at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net or at 937-235-2586 for your free, complimentary appointment!