The Most Damaging Word (When Planning Your Wedding)

should - the most damaging word

Last week I talked about one of my favorite quotes (“The most damaging phrase in the language is, ‘It’s always been done that way.’” by Grace Hopper, Ph. D.)

Today I want to talk about one of the most damaging words. “Should.”

Wedding planning is filled with wonderful options.

The word “should” implies that there is a right and a wrong way – essentially making options pointless.

With so many decisions involved in planning a wedding, it is too easy to get caught up in what “should” be done.

Really, there are really only two things that “should” be done, 1) get a marriage license, and 2) make sure the person who is performing the ceremony can legally do so.

Everything else is optional.

Ask yourself:

• Are you like the couple who is getting married the week after you?

• Do you like exactly the same things as the next couple?

• Is your wedding style just like other couples’ styles?

• Is your relationship with your fiancé just like other couples?

I’m guessing that you probably answered “No” to each of those questions.

So. . .

If you aren’t the same as anyone else, why “should” you be doing the same things as them?

Simple answer, you shouldn’t. Because there is no “should”.

So if you hear a vendor remotely using the word “should,” as in “you should do this,” “this should be put here,” “your event should be this way,” and so on, stop and tell them that you have something else in mind for your wedding.

I mean, doesn’t it kind of make you wonder how much thought he/she is really putting into your wedding if they’re lumping the details of your wedding in with the others?

How “cookie cutter” is his/her vision for your event?

Hearts, Joy, Love!

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If you have questions or are looking for fun ideas, contact me at or at 937-235-2586 or 937-581-3647.

The Most Damaging Phrase

the most damaging phrase

This quote is by Grace Hopper, Ph. D., an American computer scientist and United States Navy rear admiral. Although she was most likely referring to the use of computers and other technology, this quote is oh so applicable to weddings.

Through the years, I’ve heard variations on this dreaded statement “It’s always been done that way” spoken by other wedding professionals, about room layout: “We put the cake table here,” (sadly this would put the cake table in a far corner), or “the head table goes over there,” (depending on the sizes of the bridal party and the guest list, the head table may work better against a different wall); the timeline: “the first dance should be done after dinner,” (every wedding, and every couple, is different, so the order of events should reflect their event); to even the color scheme: “the color of the bridesmaid dresses and the groomsmen vests/cummerbunds should match.”

Instead of thinking and using “how it’s always been done” as a hard and fast rule, use it as a guideline or starting point, then alter it to fit what you want, and what truly holds meaning for you.

Hearts, Joy, Love!

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If you have questions or are looking for unique ideas for your wedding, contact me at or at 937-235-2586 for your free, complimentary appointment!

Dear Weddings From The Heart . . .

Dear Weddings From The Heart File this under “How a wedding planner can help.”

A while back I received a letter from a groom. It was a few weeks after his wedding, and although we did not work together he wanted to share some information with me. Apparently, on the day of their wedding, he and his new bride had a horrible experience with their venue and caterer.

His letter described the problems and issues created by the venue and staff, including how rude their staff was, how they ran out of food, and, what food there was, was cold.

The point of his letter was to warn me about this venue/caterer.

It broke my heart. No one deserves to be treated in this fashion, and for any company, wedding related or not, to provide such low quality of service and product is unforgivable.

But it doubly broke my heart as I soon realized that I could have helped this couple avoid this issue altogether.

5 Reasons You Need a Wedding Planner

Let’s go back several months . . . to when they were just starting with their wedding plans.

I received a phone call from this groom as he was interested in meeting with me to provide planning and coordination services for their wedding. So we scheduled an appointment.

However, a couple days later he called me back to cancel the appointment. He explained that his fiancée did not want a planner/coordinator, as she preferred to take care of things herself. I told him that my role does not hinder or diminish any couple from planning their own wedding, but instead is there to guide and assist, but if they would like to reschedule to let me know. The appointment was cancelled, and I did not hear back from them . . . until his letter after their wedding.

It made me sad (for them, not for me) because had they kept the appointment and hired my services, even for just venue/catering selection, I would have steered them clear from this venue, as it was notorious for such horrible practices (and then some) that he and his new bride experienced.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is not to pat myself on the back, or to claim to be the grand know-it-all of weddings, or to say that everyone should hire me for their wedding.

Instead it is just a simple reminder that there are people out there who are there to help you with your wedding, to take away the stress, to make sure you are making informed decisions regarding the many choices you are presented with, to provide options. And we are happy to help with a little or a lot, depending on your specific wedding needs.

Hearts, Joy, Love!

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To see how Weddings From The Heart can make your wedding day stress-free, enjoyable, and just the way you want, contact me at, or by phone at 937-235-2586, or 937-581-3647, to schedule your free, initial appointment!

Photo credit: kla4067 via photopin cc

Choosing Your Wedding Gown – To Minimize Wide Hips

Wedding Dress To Minimize Wide Hips

The fullness of a ball gown will help to accentuate your waist while hiding hips. An A-line gown will also do the trick.

Drop waists or basque waists can make you look bottom-heavy.

Top 5 Mistakes Brides Make While Shopping for Her Wedding Gown

Instead, try gowns with lovely detailing on the bodice or an off-the-shoulder neckline that will draw attention to the upper half of your body, as will a square or bateau neckline.

Be careful with trumpet or sheath style gowns, as they may make you look out of proportion.

Hearts, Joy, Love!

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If you have questions or are looking for unique ideas contact me at or at 937-235-2586 or 937-581-3647!

Photo credit: WinterStephan via photopin cc

Choosing Your Wedding Gown – To Slim a Full Waist


wedding gown dress with basque or drop waist


A drop or empire waist, or an A-line dress will add curves.

4 Ways to Stay on Budget with Your Wedding Gown

Also look for detailing around the neckline which will draw the eye to the upper part of your body.

wedding gown wedding dress with detail at neckline

Avoid dresses that are fitted at your natural waistline.

Hearts, Joy, Love!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

If you have questions or are looking for unique ideas contact me at or at 937-235-2586 or 937-581-3647!

Photo credit (drop waist wedding gown): xubangwen via photopin cc

Photo credit (detailed neckline): WinterStephan via photopin cc