What If You Have to Cancel Your Wedding?

broken heart - cancelled wedding

Weddings are a happy time – full of expectations for the future.

But . . .

What if it is cancelled?

No one wants to ever talk about the possibility of a cancelled wedding, but for a variety of reasons it can – and does – happen.

Everyone involved finds planning a joyful occasion but no one ever plans to cancel or postpone that event. The guidelines on how to handle this difficult time in as pleasant and civil manner as possible are relatively simple.

Short and sweet is the best route.

If a formal wedding is postponed or cancelled after the invitations have gone out, all invited guests must be notified as soon as possible. When time permits, this is best done with printed cards.

Here are some wording examples:

• If there has been a death in the family, the card would read:

Mrs. George Franklin Davis
regrets that the death of
Mr. Davis
obliges her to recall the invitations
to the wedding of her daughter
Saturday, the second of April

An invitation recalled in this manner just indicates that the wedding will not take place as originally planned.

When it is rescheduled, it may take place as a small family ceremony if you feel a large wedding may be considered inappropriate. The couple may wear their formal attire but they will usually have honor attendants only.

• If a wedding is postponed and a new date is already set, new invitations may be sent out with this copy:

Mr. and Mrs. Douglas John Smith
announce that the marriage of their daughter
Carolyn Jane
to
Edward Patrick Murphy
has been postponed from
Saturday, the 11th of May
until
Saturday, the 25th of May
at four o’clock
Grace Presbyterian Church
Pleasantville

• If the wedding is cancelled, invitations need to be recalled promptly with a printed card which reads:

Mr. and Mrs. Calvin Benjamin Clark
announce that the marriage of their daughter
Eileen Marie
to
Harold Robert Smith
will not take place

However, if time is short, invitations may be recalled by personal notes or phone calls. Notes should be patterned after these formats and signed by the person issuing the invitations. Phone calls should also be made in the name of issuing the invitations.

Reasons other than death or illness in the family are not usually mentioned, as it really is none of their business.

A common question that arises after the cancellation of a wedding is, “What do I do with the gifts I have received?”

If the wedding is merely postponed, send an announcement to all the guests, keeping the presents you’ve already received.

On the other hand, if the wedding is cancelled, every gift – even those that have been monogrammed – must go back to the person who sent it. A note expressing gratitude and explaining that the wedding will not take place should accompany the gift, but you do not need to give a reason for the cancellation.

Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

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Photo credit: Nicolas Raymond

Do you have a question or wedding concern? Let me know. I’d be happy to help. Contact me at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net or at 937-235-2586 or 937-235-2586.

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Trends – What’s Out (And What This Means For You and Your Wedding)

wedding decor trends

 

Every year we hear about the newest trends and what is up-and-coming for the following wedding season.

But after a while trends lose their luster as their popularity diminishes.

Some trends that seem to be losing steam are:

Chalkboards
Chalkboards were a fun and easy way to provide signage at your reception. They have been used in a variety of ways including menus, table numbers, and in lieu of ceremony programs. Recently though, couples are staring to go back to simple cardstock when using signage at their reception.

“Traditional” Cocktail and Dinner Music
Light jazz and soft instrumentals used to be de rigeur for the cocktail hour and during dinner.

These days, couples are choosing a more eclectic playlist to set a fun mood for their guests, such as “Suit and Tie” by Justin Timberlake, “Fever” by Peggy Lee or “California Dreamin’” by the Mamas and the Papas.

Why I Have a Love-Hate Relationship with Wedding “Trends”

Photo Booths
Big photo booths with goofy props like feather boas and crazy hats are still fun, but we’re seeing more open-air photo “booths” with props with a more upscale feel (such as bowler hats, mustaches, hearts, and champagne flutes).

Candy Buffets
Anything edible is always a bit hit, and candy buffets were a fun way to incorporate the wedding color palette and send guests off with a tasty treat. But, for whatever reason, candy buffets just aren’t used at wedding receptions very often anymore.

So, what does this mean for your wedding?

In reality, not much.

Your wedding vision is determined by you and your fiancé, what you both like (and dislike), and what holds meaning and is representative to you.

So, unless your style is to follow the current trends, what’s in and what’s out should never be a determining factor for what you choose to have for your wedding.

A side note though: sometimes it can be easier to find something that follows the current trends. For example, before the chalkboard craze was embraced, finding suitable chalkboards was tricky. You were pretty much stuck with large boards or none at all.

These days not only can you find them in a variety of shapes and sizes, but there is chalkboard paint so you can turn just about anything into a chalkboard.

Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

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Photo credit: Ruth Hartnup

Looking for unique ideas for your wedding? Weddings From The Heart can help. Contact me at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net or at 937-235-2586!

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Meet the Pros – Interview with Rev. Cindy Lee Carver

 

 

 

 

 

1. Tell us a bit about yourself.

I am a minister of 20+ years. Over the years, I noticed that rent-a-minister, now called off site minister or wedding officiant more difficult to find, especially those who specialize in alternative, CosPlay, non-traditional, and LGBT weddings.

Often I’m asked about my religious affiliation, which is indigenous. Indigenous often times means Native American. I’m Métis (May-tee) which is a Canadian recognized First Nations People. In the United States we are non-federal recognized Native American. If you are interested in an authentic Eastern Woodland style wedding, it would be my pleasure to help you plan and execute it with all the fine details. My non-denominational training is that of a Spiritualist, making my abilities very adaptable for your wedding ceremony.

2. How did you get into officiating for wedding ceremonies?

My mother and daughters told me to put up a website and offer my non-traditional services. After that, I added traditional services and began answering emails and telephone calls. I’m glad I did it. I enjoy the smiles, the love that shines in their eyes when they look at each other or talk about one another, and the vows are amazing.

3. What is your favorite part of a wedding ceremony?

The vows. Whether I write them or the couple write their own, the emotion that overwhelms them as they gaze into each others eyes is wonderful. We think of the Mothers of the couple as the people with tears in their eyes. But, the couple often have their own tears, choke up while trying to speak, or taking laughing fits. This is the part I adore, their emotion bubbling outward.

4. Are you seeing any new trends for wedding ceremonies, and if so, what are they?

CosPlay and Off beat themes are more popular now, than any other time in history. My blog contains photos of the Halloween themes and Steampunk from 2014. I’m continue to wait for the photos from other wedding couples. 2015 weddings have included CosPlay as the Penguin from the game, Arkham Asylum, Off Beat as a Steampunk clockmaker. 2016 is gearing up for a totally Dr. Who wedding and I’ll dress as the very first Doctor.

The photos I still wait for are the Penguin, a couple of the steampunk weddings, along with me as a Plainswalker. Often Rule 63 is invoked when I officiate a CosPlay wedding.

5. What is your favorite venue and why?

For Steampunk, I like the Boonshoft Museum Space Theater. For CosPlay any outdoor venue. For more of a Masquerade style or a traditional wedding, I like The Event Connection. I look forward to officiating a wedding at the Dayton Art Institute and The Victoria Theater.

6. What are some of your top tips for a stress-free wedding ceremony?

Design an itinerary and stick to it. Develop your itinerary with your wedding planner or your day of the event coordinator, officiant, and DJ. Let the people you hire do their jobs. When you try to micro-manage it over stresses your emotions and it gets overwhelming fast, so allow the people you hire to do their jobs.

7. If you could officiate at any celebrity wedding (past, present or future), who would be the lucky couple?

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, I admire Mrs. DeGeneres’ go-give attributes and her natural ability to be entertaining. Brooke Elliott for the confidence she exudes. Bruce Campbell in case he would like to show up as one of his many characters. My list continues on.

8. Anything else you want to share with us?

Every wedding couple should get contracts from each vendor they hire. Whether it is a minister or a friend of the family. Contracts are the glue that provides you with peace of mind that you are hiring a professional that will have a backup plan if something would happen and they could not honor their agreement. I have a network of associate ministers that will deliver your ceremonial service if I am in the emergency room.

The second part of the contract issue is to make sure there is not a non-disparagement clause. A Non-Disparagement clause restricts a person from writing a negative review. In simple non legalese, it means you can not write on facebook, or other social media about how so and so didn’t hold up the contract with you.

While you have hired your vendors, it is polite to offer them a monetary tip the day of the event or in a thank you card the week after to let them know you appreciated their hard work on your behalf.

You can contact Rev. Cindy Lee at
937- 985-7956
Email cindylee@revcindylee.com
Website http://revcindylee.com/

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