You’re just starting with your wedding planning and it’s time to choose your wedding party. “Hmmm. Who will be my bridesmaids?”
Choosing a bridesmaid is a very important task of wedding planning. These ladies (or men, who are called bridesmen, or wedding attendants) have been by your side through the years. They’ve supported you through thick and thin. They are your besties – the people you couldn’t imagine not having by your side during this exciting time of your life.
So why in recent years are we hearing of more and more brides behaving like bridesmaids aren’t cherished friends and family members at all, but, well . . . are going ‘zilla on them, with unreasonable demands and lofty expectations?
Changing Their Appearance
One bride asked her bridesmaids to gain weight so she would look better by comparison.
Another she expected her ‘maids to wear heel varying heights so they would all appear to be the same height. The bridesmaids’ heights ranged from 5’2″ to 5’9″, meaning that one lady was to wear 7 inch heels.
One asked her ladies to all dye their hair blonde so that she (the bride) would be the only brunette.
Another bridesmaid was asked to have a breast reduction so she would fit into the same dress as the rest of the bridesmaids.
Your bridesmaids are your best gal (or guy) pals. They are the people in your life who you love and cherish. You’ve chosen them for who they are. Why change them?
Exchanging Them
You’ve chosen your bridesmaids based on your relationship with them, not on how they look. Most women don’t look like models. So don’t base your bridesmaid choices on appearance.
If you ever have the opportunity, check out the episode of Absolutely Fabulous with Edina’d daughter’s wedding. Fast forward to 36:52 and watch mother-of-the-bride Edina (“Sweetie, Darling!”) swap her daughter’s bridesmaid for a Gucci model. (I’d love to share the video clip with you here, but it’s no longer available due to copyright).
Hopefully no one will do what Edina did for real, but believe it or not, you can hire a professional bridesmaid. I get hiring someone for assistance behind the scenes, but yes you can actually hire someone who will walk down the aisle and stand up at the altar with you.
Bridesmaid Banishment
Some brides have even gone so far as to threaten to fire their bridesmaids if they didn’t follow her “ground rules.”
These ground rules included:
- Enforced bed times leading up to the wedding (can’t have saggy, baggy eyes)
- Bathing suits must be strapless (can’t have terrible tan lines)
- Changes in haircuts/coloring must be pre-approved
A follow-up note ended with, “Failure to adhere to my commandments, can result in Bridalparty banishment!”
Pay For The Honor
Ok, this one will make you face palm and ask “why, oh why?”
The most recent bit of bad bride behavior with bridesmaids is fairly recent. Apparently this bride “sent out dozens of…invitations, to various girls. . . to attend and participate in a ‘bidding auction’ on the six spots in her bridal party.” Apparently the bride and groom plan to use the money to pay for the wedding and honeymoon.
It’s unclear why this bride sent out invitations to a bidding auction. It doesn’t appear that she just couldn’t choose from so many people (as many were acquaintances, and not close buds). Was it a grab for money? Some other reason entirely?
Regardless as to her “why,” you just don’t do that to people!
Other things brides have asked of their ladies were:
- cover tattoos
- not getting tattoos
- not getting a haircut
- grow out their bangs
- get a fake tan (the bridesmaid had a pale complexion)
- get botox
- Wedding dress contribution – one bride ended up buying a wedding gown that was way out of her budget. She then wanted her bridesmaids to contribute $150 each to help pay for it.
Want to read the entire details of these bad bride behaviors? You can find the original articles here:
Bid to be a bridesmaid
Professional bridesmaids
Demands made on bridesmaids
And more demands
Help pay for wedding gown
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Need help with your wedding plans? Contact me today at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net or at 937-235-2586 or 937-581-3647!