There are things you need to know and have before you meet with a wedding planner. Also, communication and making decisions are key for planning your wedding. These are just a few of the things your wedding planners wish you knew. Where can you find out what these are? On a wedding podcast of course. And not just any podcast.
Recently I was a guest on The Stress Free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal + Sam.
The topic we talked about? Yep, you guessed it. Things wedding planners wish you as a couple should know, as well as the ONE thing you should NOT do to your wedding planner.
So, what are the things that wedding planners wish you, the couple, should know? The following are some of the things we discussed in this edition of the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Podcast.
Wedding Podcast – Things Wedding Planners Wish You Knew
1) What You Should Do Before Meeting With A Wedding Planner
Okay, you’ve got an appointment set up to meet with a wedding planner (or any other wedding vendor for that matter) to help create the wedding of your dreams. So what should you bring with you to that first meeting? Like a good Boy Scout, you should be prepared.
Obviously information you’ll need to have with you are:
• your wedding date or your desired wedding date
• an estimated amount of people that you’re planning on having
• your budget, or at least have an estimate of how much you’d like to spend (on the entire wedding, and for the particular vendor niche you’re meeting with)
And two things you should also bring are:
1) A vision board of some sort. It doesn’t have to be a physical board with photos (but it you’ve got one, bring it). However it is helpful for you to have something to convey what you have in mind. Share photos you’ve found in magazines and online that represent or suggest the vision you want for your wedding. Your “vision” doesn’t have to be complete (nor set in stone), but shows things you like (and don’t like).
Pinterest is a great tool. And you can even create a “secret” board that is only visible to you and whomever else you invite.
And
2) A list of your preferences and priorities. Of all the different wedding aspects (food, music, decor, cake, etc.) which are the top three most important to you (and the top three most important to your partner)? Which are the least important?
That way while planning, we all can focus on the areas of greater importance, and downplay (or eliminate) those that aren’t important.
You can find worksheets for your wedding preferences and priorities, and a lot more in my book “From ‘I Will’ to ‘I Do’”.
2) Communication is Key
Good communication is vital. And this includes sharing information you’ve discussed with your other vendors. As the wedding planner, we need to know these details so that we can ensure that all the different parts of your wedding mesh perfectly. And as your wedding coordinator (commonly referred to as a day-of coordinator), we need to know these details so we can ensure that all of your vendors are providing precisely what you’ve hired them to provide.
We’re not mind readers. And often when working with a couple, after a point we can get a good feel of what is going to appeal to them, what they’ll like, what they’re not going to really like.
But . . . if you’ve made any changes with your other vendors but didn’t inform us about these changes, mistakes are likely, as we’re going off of faulty information.
A perfect example is a wedding I did several years ago. After the final meeting with the couple, the one where I’d confirm all of the finalized details with them, I confirmed the details with all of their vendors. Of course, one of these details is the first dance song.
Now fast forward to the wedding reception, and I’m talking with the DJ, and he’s like, oh the first dance song is such and such. Wait! What? That’s NOT the song we talked about. Well, apparently the day before the wedding the bride told the DJ to change the song, however she didn’t tell me about this change. The problem with this lack of communication is that I could have been a very headstrong planner, and told the DJ “no this is not the song the bride said. You’re playing the song we confirmed.” And the wrong song would have been played, and we would have had an unhappy bride and groom.
You need to let us know. Include us in your vendor appointments. CC us on emails. Do a group text. Keep us in the loop!
3) Be Honest With Your Planner (and All the Rest of Your Vendors)
This one definitely falls under the category of “What Not To Do”.
It’s likely that you’ve heard this piece of wedding advice. “Save money on your wedding by telling the vendors that it’s a party, not a wedding.”
Bad advice. Do not do that!
The scope of the work involved behind the scenes for a wedding is totally different, and more involved, than that for a party. You’re not getting the same cake. You’re not getting the same DJ experience. You’re not getting the same photography experience, etc. It is totally different.
Also, by saying “it’s not a wedding, it’s a party,” you are lying to your vendors. We don’t want to work with you if you aren’t going to be honest with us. Think of it this way. If we lied to you and held something from you that you needed to know, you wouldn’t want to work with us either, right?
Sure, we can think on our feet if something unexpected pops up. However, we cannot wing the whole day. And your wedding day will suffer for it.
How? Think of it this way. You’ve hired a DJ to play music for your “party.” But on the day of the event you inform the DJ that there will be introductions and you’re doing a first dance. Well, now instead of being prepared the DJ now has to scramble to 1) get the names of who’s being introduced, including the order they will be introduced in, and the proper pronunciation of each name (because, believe me, no one appreciates having their name mispronounced), 2) and hopefully has the songs you want played for these formalities.
We have to have a plan in place. We have to have an itinerary. We need to know what we’re going to be doing.
4) Once You’ve Made A Decision, Stick With It
Once you’ve found what you’re looking for, or made a particular decision, stop looking and move on to the next item on your checklist.
I get that you want your wedding to be “perfect” and it’s easy to think “Hmmm. Maybe doing that or getting that instead will be better.” or maybe it’s due to a FOMO mentality.
Regardless of the reason, stop. Make a decision, stick with it, and move forward.
5) Sometimes Your Wedding Party Members Are Rude
While a vast majority are the sweetest most wonderful people you want to have around, sometimes we run across a few wedding party members (and sometimes even guests) who go out of their way to be rude to us and the rest of your vendor team.
We adore our brides and grooms, but for this reason we don’t always like the people in their wedding party. How can we when they’ve felt the need to be rude or condescending to us or your other vendors, glaring at us (really!) or to tell us how bad we are? Especially when we’re just doing our jobs, and performing the duties that you have hired us for.
Why does this happen? Sometimes it’s as simple as a maid of honor feeling slighted because the bride didn’t ask her to be her “wedding planner,” or “florist” or whatever. Often times it’s a case of simply having bad manners.
Etiquette isn’t held in the same regard as it once was, and some people seem to believe that if they think it, then it’s okay to say it. Sometimes they somehow feel the need to tell us how to do our jobs. It would be nice to be able to tell them that we were hired and contracted by the couple to perform specific duties, which is what we are doing, so don’t tell us what we should be doing because you were not in on that conversation (but we’re going to be polite).
We should all remember the saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.
6) You Don’t Need to Message Us With Every Little Idea That Pops Into Your Head
Yes, we want to hear what you have in mind. But no, it’s not necessary to bombard us with a new text or email every time a new idea pops into your head. Instead, save up these ideas and include them in your weekly update with your planner.
Too many emails or texts can create confusion, and lead to potentially missing a message. You get too many emails and it’s all to easy to forget which one is which, which is the most recent, etc.
Of course we want to know what you have in mind, or if you’re thinking of changing something (I once had a bride who completely changed her wedding cake design 3 times! The final design was beautiful, and absolutely perfect for their wedding aesthetic).
But frequently sending multiple emails or other forms of messaging in one day is just waaay too much.
These are just some of the “Things Wedding Planners Wish You Knew” that we talked about. Listen to the full podcast here or watch below 
The Stress-Free Wedding Planning Podcast with Sal + Sam has a new episode every Wednesday. Be sure to tune in for insider tips, strategies, and other great advice for planning your wedding!
What do you think about our picks for “Things Wedding Planners Wish You Knew”? Any you’d like to add? Let me know in the comments below.
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Author of “Wedding Invitations, RSVPs, and More! Oh My!” and “From ‘I Will’ to ‘I Do’”
Have questions about your wedding plans? Contact me today at [email protected] or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!
As a former wedding photographer, I can tell you communication with your planner is key. Making sure the events go off when they’re supposed to also present the best flight for your pictures.
Absolutely. There are just too many little details. And since no two weddings are ever the same (who’d want that anyway, that would be boring!), we need to know all these details.