Wedding gifts come in all shapes and sizes. Some are chosen from the gift registry the happy couple have put together at a couple local (or online) stores. Others aren’t, and are something the gift giver thinks (or hopes) the couple will like and use. Sometimes the gift isn’t something that comes in a prettily wrapped box, but in the form of cash or a check in an envelope.
Earlier today I read an article that was questioning giving a monetary gift instead of one that is purchased, wrapped, and tied up with a pretty bow. No, the article wasn’t about asking for money instead of a present being wrong, but whether giving money instead of a present is wrong.
While the article didn’t come up with an end all/be all answer, no definitive right or wrong, it did give some food for thought to help determine wrapped present vs money.
It mentioned some pros and cons – such as “a physical gift will be remembered and cherished for a long time. Cash is appreciated in the short term,” and that “some couples also don’t want any gifts . . . and would prefer that a donation be made to their favorite charities or organizations.”
A wonderful tip the writer offers regarding giving money is to “write something meaningful in the card about how you hope they spend it . . . so that they don’t think you just stopped at an ATM on the way to the ceremony.”
But to suggest or make someone think that giving money is wrong . . .
I mean, a gift is a gift. The giver can give whatever he/she wants to.
Did the couple register? Even if they did, giving money, (or giving something not on the list) is the givers choice. After all, a gift registry is not a list of the only options that the giver can choose. Instead, it is a list of items the couple would like to have.
So, would it be nice, would it be a good idea to choose something from the registry, instead of going rogue? Well, yes, because the giver knows that the couple will in fact like and use the item.
But, what is given, be it a boxed, wrapped present, or a card with money, remains the choice of the giver, not of the receiver.
So what are your thoughts on giving money vs a wrapped present? Let me know in the comments below.
Check out the article here Faux Pas Or Not: Money As A Gift.
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Need wedding planning tips and ideas? Contact me at [email protected] or at 937-581-3647!
Interesting! I’m about to get married myself so have thought about this a bit in recent weeks. I feel like I have a weird perspective on this because we are having a SMALL wedding and know everyone very intimately. We are asking for money, but know some people will probably still give us gifts. I honestly think it depends on the situation. If the bride and groom are registered somewhere then you know what you gift them will be appreciated. If you know them really well and where they are financially, and say they’re saving up to buy a house, then any monetary donation would be appreciated! I think most of the fun of gifts is just having a memento, but if the couple doesn’t need anything material, why not give the gift of a little bit of financial security after they just spent a bunch of money?
So true. Not every couple needs any “stuff” to start their new household. Many are wanting to save for a down payment on a house, so money would be a big help.
Great perspective! I feel like boxed gifts are a thing of the past, at least in my social group. It seems that gifts are for the bridal shower and money is for the wedding. How much to give is another great post idea! In my area, based on local Facebook groups, etiquette is $75-100 per person if it is for close friends or family, or $50-75 otherwise (taking into consideration the cost of your plate + a gift). I am going to go broke with all the weddings coming up this season!!
With people living is various places across the country these days, boxed gifts are awkward for guests to bring with them, and for the couple to transport afterwards. Hmmm, ‘how much to give’ is a great post topic. Like so much in life, there’s no definite right or wrong answer.
As a giver, I love the gift registries because they make my life easier. I can be confident that the recipient is getting something wished for. But I see nothing wrong with a cash gift because you know they can always use it to purchase a gift that they didn’t get – either way is a winner as far as I’m concerned.
In total agreement with what you said. Registries ensure that they will receive a gift that they truly want. And I can’t imagine someone being unhappy with a cash gift. Definitely win-win.
I always thought it was traditional to give money as a wedding gift.
I don’t know about being “traditional” or “non-traditional” but it certainly seems (at least to my couples’ weddings) that more and more guests are giving money than a wrapped present. A gift is a gift, whether wrapped with a bow or in an envelope.
I always think that a wedding return gift should be unique and after seeing this article, i am so happy that i am right.
I agree with you. While money is appreciated, a gift that is thought out stands the test of time.