Just read an interesting article called “The Millennial Wedding Trend We Keep Seeing That Baby Boomers Hate.” In it, the author talks about the couple getting married before the wedding.
How much of a new trend that “Getting married before you get married” is I really don’t know. Honestly, after reading this, I feel that there has got to be more to the story, and that perhaps some of the author’s reasoning is conjecture rather than fact.
I totally get it when a couple chooses to get married before the wedding day for tax reasons, insurance reasons, or (if in the military) concern of being deployed, or if being the center of attention will cause anxiety.
But the idea that getting married (the ceremony, the actual “I Dos”) is “… an errand that nobody besides them (and the government) really cares about” is a fallacy. Most wedding guests (although not all, gotta be realistic here) want to see the bride walking down the aisle, want to watch the exchange of vows, want to be a part of the wedding.
Do they “care” about it in the same respect that the couple, or their parents do? Probably not, as they don’t have the ‘emotional investment’ like the couple or parents have. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t interested in this part of the wedding day.
The author suggests that the reason couples choose to get married before the wedding day “is because weddings have become more complicated.” Are weddings complicated? Well, yeah, they are, and have been for decades at the very least. There are a gazillion moving parts involved in an entire wedding day.
But only a small portion of that concerns the wedding ceremony. The couple’s attire, flowers, and entertainment are already taken care of for the reception, so it’s not like these are additional aspects that they have to take care of specifically for the ceremony. (Many DJs provide both ceremony and reception music). What is involved for the ceremony planning? The officiant, the ‘script’ for the ceremony (which the officiant can pretty much take care of), and a little extra logistics.
So, is it really the “optical illusion” that the author suggests? Depends. Is the “getting married before you’re married” a secret? Are couples really pretending that this is their actual wedding, and that they aren’t already legally married? Or will their guests be aware that the legal aspect has taken place, and that the wedding they are attending is a celebration of their love, and vows, and commitment for each other?
And if it’s not just a big fake out then wouldn’t that make the “emotional performance” less “performance” and a real display of emotions?
Is it sad and jaded to believe that “weddings have become more and more entertainment-oriented”? That’s basically saying that guests only care about is being fed and entertained, instead of being happy to share in and celebrate the first day of a couple’s marriage. Is that really why guests RSVP ‘yes’ and go to someone’s wedding?
I certainly hope not, and truly believe that most people want to be share in their loved ones’ special day and be surrounded by the love and joy that radiates on a wedding day.
Go here to read the original article.
What are your thoughts of idea of the trend of getting married before the wedding? Let me know in the comments below.
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
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