Now that you’re planning your wedding, I’m sure you have lots of questions. We get asked many wedding planning questions with topics that run the gamut from choosing the menu, to creating and fine-tuning the guest list, and even basic what-to-do advice. Here are 10 of those wedding planning questions and my answers:

10 Common Wedding Planning Questions

1. Where and how did the concept of a wedding party originate?
Back in the Ancient Roman days it was required by law to have ten witnesses at a wedding. Not only were they to show up, but they had to dress similarly to the bride and groom. No, no one was trying to make a fashion statement. The point of this was to fool the evil spirits intending on causing harm and ill will to the couple. If you have that many people who look the same, those evil spirits got confused since they couldn’t tell who was the bride and groom, and who wasn’t.

Here is a blog post I wrote about why we have groomsmen (same reasoning applies to bridesmaids).

2. What are the best tips for decreasing the cost of a wedding, mainly the big-ticket items like venue, food/alcohol, photography, and music?
This (or some variation of) is probably the most common of the wedding planning questions couples have. And who can blame them? They’re spending a lot, so of course they want to get the most bang for their buck.

There are many ways to help keep costs down. Here are some general cost-saving tips.

• Have your ceremony and reception at the same location.
• Pare down your guest list.
• Serve chicken or pasta (instead of beef or fish).
• Serve only wine & beer (maybe a signature cocktail) instead of a full bar selection.
• A DJ costs less than a live band.
• Use flowers that are in season.
• Use greenery.
• Choose an off-peak month.
• Choose a day other than a Saturday.
• Omit favors and programs.
• Choose a simple design for your wedding cake instead of a labor-intensive design.

3. Do I have to invite my family I’m not close to, to my wedding?
It’s your wedding, so technically, you can invite (or not invite) whoever you want.

That said, consider the following:

1) Do you just “not like him,” or does it go deeper than that? Is it because the two of you just “don’t click,” or is there “bad blood” between you?

2) How will this affect future family get-togethers? Will other family members brush it off with a simple “meh,” or will you be hearing about this for years to come?

3) How will this affect other family members? Will this cause friction between the two step-siblings you are close to and the third step-sibling? Will it cause friction between you and the step-parent?

Although, it’s your wedding and you can invite (or not invite) whoever you want, this is most likely a time for you to take the high road and invite the 3rd step sibling.

[ctt template=”1″ link=”oZUmc” via=”yes” ]I’m sure you have lots of questions. Here are 10 wedding planning questions I have been asked (and my answers).[/ctt]

4. What’s so difficult about planning a wedding? Isn’t it just a party?
Yes, you’re “throwing a party,” but a wedding is so much more than that.

First off, a wedding is a two-part event, a ceremony and a reception (not just the party). The ceremony is a rite of passage. Yeah, a big deal. So be sure to give it the honor and respect it deserves. The party is not just any old party (regardless if the wedding will be formal or casual).

Your wedding ceremony, particularly your vows, is your declaration of your commitment to each other, a “verbal contract” if you will. Will you have readings? Special music played during the ceremony itself? Want to get your guests emotionally involved in the ceremony (and not just be passive spectators)?

Also, not only will you be picking out a special venue for both the ceremony and reception that is suitable to the style of event you want, all of the other details are typically looked at and decided upon with more scrutiny, including the menu, beverages, decor (centerpieces, linens, lighting, etc), and entertainment. The day will be documented (you’ll have a photographer and possibly a videographer). You’ll get special attire. You’ll be inviting lots of people, so you need to make them aware of what type of event to expect (Formal at a country club? Casual in the backyard? Something else?), so you’ll want invitations that reflect your event.

Yes, the devil is in the details. And planning a wedding includes A LOT of details.

Difficult? Doesn’t have to be.

Time and effort (and love)? Absolutely!

5. How do I pick colors for my wedding?
Go with colors you like. Take into consideration the décor of the venue (some colors may work better than others). Pick a main color and a couple accent colors – this will allow your main color to “pop” and adds visual interest. Inject some metallic, texture, and pattern – also to add visual interest. Here is a blog post about color palettes that you may find helpful.

6. Are winter weddings tacky?
Wintertime is so romantic with the snow (and not to mention all the sparkle)! Having a winter wedding is not tacky at all. (What is tacky is other people trying to make a couple feel bad about their wedding choices). You can have your wedding during whatever season you want. Keep in mind that not everyone will be able to attend because of the holidays. (But regardless of the season, people will always find a reason not to attend if they really don’t want to). A winter theme offers many beautiful décor options (I recently designed a winter wedding tablescape, and loved playing around with the idea of snow, sparkle, glitter, crystals, fur . . .).

7. As a vegan, should I be expected to serve animal products at my wedding?
No you don’t have to serve animal products. A good caterer will be able to offer suggestions to keep your guests tummys happy, yet follow your dietary choice. As long as you serve good food, your guests can survive without eating meat/dairy at your wedding.

8. What are some great tips for wedding rehearsals?
Unless you are having a very small, very short/basic ceremony (no attendants, no readers, no aisle runner), do a rehearsal. It will ensure that all participants are familiar and comfortable with their roles.

• There is no need to practice it over and over. One hour is enough time (really!) . Running through it only once or twice is sufficient.
• For the processional, walk normal, at a pace in keeping with the music. Don’t do any elaborate walking (unless it is a cultural tradition you wish to follow).
• Only participants who are directly involved in the ceremony need to be there (bride/groom/parents/wedding party/readers/officiant). If possible also have any musicians and vocalists attend.
• Prior to the rehearsal day, discuss with your officiant, wedding coordinator, and musician/music director important ceremony information such as:
  • the order everyone is to enter/stand
  • key pieces of music to be played
  • readings to be read
  • where unity candle will be placed

Fine tuning can be done at the rehearsal, but that is not the time to be making these decisions.

9. Why is planning a wedding so stressful?
Your wedding day is a very important day in your life, (you’re celebrating this momentous rite of passage with your loved ones). There are a lot of details and “moving parts,” (caterer, photographer, musicians, etc.), and a lot of time and money will be invested in this day. It’s very likely that you’ve never planned such an event before – you’re in unfamiliar territory. So it’s only natural that some degree of stress will surface.Here are some easy ways to help you combat that stress.

10. What happens if too many people RSVP to your wedding and you can’t afford it?
The problem started when you invited more people than you could afford. But that fact doesn’t help now.

You invited them. You are obligated to host them at your wedding. So what to do?

1) Add more money to your budget. Some possible sources are: from savings, from your weekly paycheck, assistance from someone else (and remember, they are not obligated to help in this area), use your credit card, or take out a loan.
2) Cut back on services you’ve already hired, such as smaller floral centerpieces, less expensive food options, and just beer and wine instead of full bar options.
3) Omit things you really can do without, like favors, photo booth, candy buffet, programs.

Two things NOT to do – 1) ask guests to pay, and 2) uninvite guests.

What wedding planning questions do you have? Comment below or shoot me an email at [email protected]

Photo Credit:
weddography via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

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Looking for fun ideas, or need help with your wedding plans?
Weddings From The Heart can help. Contact me today at [email protected] or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!