If you are like over 62% of couples* who were planning a 2020 wedding, you’ve had to postpone the date. Perhaps for later this year, or pushed well into 2021. Then again, you may be thinking of paring down and eloping – doing just a small wedding now, then having the big wedding later on. By considering doing a small wedding ceremony now reception later, you may be thinking, “will the big ceremony/reception feel fake? Will we feel like we’re just playacting? Will there be feelings of ‘been there done that?’ Will our guests feel like we’re trying to pull one over on them?”
Or . . .
You may be thinking, “Will people think we’re being rude if we do just a small wedding now, and make them wait for the big event? Will they think the big wedding is fake or playacting?”
Justifiable questions and feelings, and you are not alone as a lot of engaged couples who are considering doing a small wedding ceremony now reception later are feeling the same way.
Many engaged couples are opting for a small wedding now followed by a big ceremony and reception at a later date. While the coronavirus didn’t cause this trend, because of all the lockdowns and mandates there is a surge in the “small now/big later” wedding. Makes sense, given the unknowns we have to deal with during this pandemic.
However, after reading the thoughts of many couples’ who have done the small wedding now/big wedding later thing, the overall answer seems to be a resounding No. It won’t feel fake. Yes. It will feel special. The happy emotions will be there. Your friends and family will be excited to celebrate with you.
After having done both small and big weddings, when talking about their big wedding, many brides have said that they felt joyful, less nervous and anxious, their big wedding felt real and meaningful, they were excited and full of emotion, and even more calm. In fact, they all seem to agree that doing the small now/big later actually lessened their wedding day anxiety and stress. And that they ended up enjoying their big wedding even more than if they had done just a big ceremony/reception.
Regarding what your guests may think, the following from A Practical Wedding sums it up perfectly, “It’s a wedding, so there will *always* be someone who disagrees with your choice.” In other words, don’t worry about what someone might think. Instead, you and your partner should do what feels right for the two of you.
Engaged couples have many reasons to opt for a small now/big later wedding. In 2020, many did so because of COVID-19. But there are many other valid reasons why couples have chosen to do so, and will continue to do so in the future.
Some reasons (besides COVID-19) to do a small wedding now / reception later:
• finances (including having more time to save funds for the big wedding)
• tax breaks
• a major life change, such as a new job or new baby, will be taking place
• logistics (maybe your dream wedding locale is too remote for all your guests to attend)
• insurance purposes
• military deployment
• won’t be stationed in different parts of the world (for couples who are both in the military and serve in the same branch)
• overwhelmed with wedding plans
• they have a special date that just won’t work for their big wedding
• a family member who is dying or in hospice
• serious injury or illness to you or your partner
These aren’t the only valid reasons. Honestly, if you and your partner really want to do a “small now/big later’ wedding, DO IT. Your reasons are your own.
A few tips for you and your partner when doing a “small now/big later” wedding:
• Decide if you want to do a ceremony and reception later, or just a reception.
(Either way, why not share photos from your small ceremony?)
• Decide what you want at your small wedding, but not the big one . . .
. . . And what you want at the big wedding, but not at the small one.
(Wedding party, cake, bouquet . . . It’s all up to you).
• Decide what you want at both weddings
• Do you want to redo your vows, say completely different vows, or skip vows completely?
A word of warning: Be cautious if you decide to keep the first ceremony a secret. While it may seem romantic, and just for “the two of you,” some of your loved ones may feel hurt that they were “lied to” or excluded from being privy to that information.
However, the bottom line is this. If doing a small wedding ceremony now reception later works best for what you and your partner want, then that’s what you should do.
* Statistics from “The Wedding Report” Survey Results
Photo Credit: Ylanite Koppens via Pixabay
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
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Weddings From The Heart can help. Contact me today at [email protected] or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!
