Photo Credit: Jupi Lu via Pixabay
When you start to write your wedding vows, you’re bound to make a few mistakes with that first draft. (Don’t worry. Unless you’re waiting until the very last minute, you’ve got plenty of time make edits and polish it until your vows are perfect!) So what are the most common wedding vow mistakes and what can you do to avoid/fix them?
Here are couple of the top wedding vow mistakes (but not the biggest vow mistake).
Common Wedding Vow Mistakes
1) Being too long
If your vows are super long it’s going to sound like you are rambling, and your guests (and maybe even your partner) will get bored and tune out. Not good.
Instead, keep your vows to within 45 seconds to 2 minutes. (Make sure that you and your partner have determined how long you want your vows to be, so they’ll both be similar in length).
2) Waiting until the last minute to write them
Why not? You’ll be rushed, and may end up with a cobbled-together list of thoughts and just variations of “I love you, I’m so excited to be marrying you.” You’re likely to leave out key points of what makes a wedding vow a vow (more on this later). Also, you won’t have time to practice saying your vows.
Instead, don’t procrastinate. It’s ok to do a last minute tweak or edit. But give yourself time, like 2 -3 months, to gather your thoughts and feelings. This way you’ll end up with vows that really say what’s in your heart.
Recently, a well known wedding site wrote an article suggesting things to do on the morning of your wedding.
The very first tip suggested that you write your wedding vows on the morning of your wedding. Their reasoning? You’ll be “flooded with a whirlwind of emotions,” and your love for your spouse-to-be will “feel raw and real.”
But . . .
. . . waiting until the very last minute is not the time to be writing your wedding vows.
(BTW – All the other tips, such as eat a nourishing meal and take a walk, were spot on).
But please, for your sake, don’t wait until the morning of your wedding to start writing your wedding vows.
Anyway, on to the biggest wedding vow mistake.
The Biggest Of All Wedding Vow Mistakes
The biggest wedding vow mistake is not actually making a vow during your vows.
Many times, during their vows, couples state how much they love their partner, that their partner makes them feel complete and safe, and that they are oh so happy to be with them. But, they unintentionally omit what makes a vow a vow.
What is a Wedding Vow?
The definition of a vow is “a solemn promise.” So essentially, your wedding vow is your promise (a verbal contract, if you will) to your partner. It is not just a statement on how much you love them, and how much they mean to you, and how you felt when you first met. Yeah, there’s nothing wrong to say that I love you, and am so happy that you love me too, and I love the way you make me coffee in the morning . . .
But what is your solemn promise to your partner? Remember, your wedding vow is what you are promising is to your partner from this day forward.
Regardless of the length, formality, funny/seriousness, etc. of your vows, there are key points you’ll want to hit, including addressing your partner by name, qualities you love about your partner, and some specific promises to your partner (you can include some funny ones like promising to take out the garbage, but most should be serious), and above all, state specific promises you are making to your partner.
Photo Credit: Prima Vista Photography
Wedding Vow Examples:
I, ______, take you, ______, to be my (husband/wife/spouse), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.
The above example is a traditional Protestant wedding vow, but depending on your ceremony venue (church weddings tend to be more formal and traditional than those held at other types of venues), as well as how traditional you and your partner want your ceremony to be, your vows may look slightly different or totally different. You and your partner may prefer to recite traditional vows, or you may want to be more modern and write your own.
Religious Vow Example
“”I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, ’til death do us part, according to God’s ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my troth.””
Romantic Vow Example
“I choose you. To stand by your side and sleep in your arms. To be joy to your heart and food for your soul. To learn with you and grow with you, even as time and life change us both. I promise to laugh with you in good times and struggle alongside you in bad times. I promise to respect you and cherish you as an individual, a partner, and an equal, knowing that we do not complete, but complement each other. May we have many adventures and grow old together.” –
Funny Vow Example
“I vow to wash if you’ll dry, just so we can be together in the kitchen, laughing, all night – every night.”
Don’t fret if you make some wedding vow mistakes when you’re writing them. It’s bound to happen. I mean, it’s easy to make a boo-boo when you’re doing something you’ve never done before. Just allow yourself time to iron out the kinks and fine tune the words you’ll actually speak on the big day.
Your wedding vows may well be the most meaningful words you will ever speak. Give them the proper thought and preparation they deserve.
Are you planning to write your own wedding vows? Let me know in the comments below!
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Looking for fun ideas, or need help with your wedding plans? Contact me today at [email protected] or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!
