Your wedding invitations are more than just a pretty design, font style, and ink color. To make things as easy as possible for your guests, you’ve got RSVP cards, directions, and a bunch of other things to consider. So, if you’re like most engaged couples, you probably have a bunch of wedding invitation questions.
Couples have a lot of questions about wedding invitations, including what to put on the RSVP/Reply cards, how to word the invitation, the proper way to address the envelope, what other enclosures (such as maps) need to be included, and what to put on a wedding website.
Here are 10 of the most common questions about wedding invitations.
10 Common Wedding Invitation Questions
1. Can I put “Please RSVP” on my wedding invitation?
While “Please RSVP” may sound appropriate and polite, adding the word “please” is actually redundant and unnecessary. Why? Because RSVP literally stands for “Respondez S’il Vous Plait” or Please Respond. So by saying “Please RSVP,” you will really be saying “Please Please Respond.”
2. Where does the term RSVP come from?
The term “RSVP” has been around for centuries. It’s unclear as to when it originated, but it’s believed to be at least from the 18th century. The term RSVP is from the French “Respondez, S’il Vous Plait,” or Please Respond.
If you prefer a term other than “RSVP,” you can use “Please Respond By” or “Kindly Reply By,” followed by your ‘reply by’ date and method you want your guests to use when replying.
3. With today’s technology is it still necessary to add maps/directions to wedding invitations?
Although it’s more common for people to have and use GPSs and Apps in everyday use when driving, it is a courtesy to your guests to include maps and directions in your invitation. The invitation and accompanying enclosures are to provide all the necessary information your guests will need. And some of your guests may not be tech savvy, so the map/directions with your invitation will be a huge help for them.
4. Is it ok to turn someone away who didn’t RSVP?
Even though they are the ones in the wrong by not RSVPing to your invitation, turning away someone that you invited is never good. It makes you look bad, and you’re going to end up with broken relationships, and being talked about at every family gathering.
Eliminate (or at least greatly minimize) this possibility by contacting everyone who hasn’t RSVP’d by your “Reply By” date. It’s important to have an accurate count of who will be attending. If you just assume, you’re going to end up with either more people attending than you planned for (and not having enough food, beverages, seating, etc.), or considerably fewer people attending, and having paid for all that additional food, beverages, etc.
You need to contact those non-RSVPers. Simply say, “We’re looking forward to celebrating with you, but haven’t received your RSVP yet. Will you be attending?” (NEVER start this conversation with “You didn’t send the RSVP back.” They may have, but it got lost in the mail.) Get a definite “Yes” or “No.”
• If it’s “No,” a “Thank you, you’ll be missed” is sufficient.
• If it’s a “Yes,” confirm number of people attending (for when you’ve invited a couple or a family AND to make sure that the individual you’ve invited hasn’t taken it upon themselves to bring someone who wasn’t really invited in the first place.
• If they try to remain on the fence with a “Maybe” say, “We’re sorry that you won’t be able to make it. Let’s get together sometime after the wedding.”
5. Is there a certain way to address a wedding invitation to someone with a title, such as a judge or a person in the military?
Yes there is. For official titles use the following:
• Spell out ranks for military personnel
• Spell out “Doctor” for both medical doctors and Ph.D.’s
• Use “The Honorable” for judges and elected government officials (except for the President of the United States)
• Use “The Reverend” for a minister or pastor
• Use “The Reverend Father” for a Catholic priest
• Use “The Reverend [name], Ph.D.” for a clergy member with a religious doctorate
6. Why won’t the guests RSVP on time to a wedding?
This is possibly one of the most frequently asked of wedding planning questions. Unfortunately there is no real answer, because it’s hard to say specifically why. Most aren’t doing so to be mean or uncaring. Some may want to double check work schedules, or their kid’s soccer schedule, etc.. Others figure that you “know” they’re coming. Others just forget. Written correspondence is no longer a habit, or the norm for anyone, so unfortunately it is easy to forget.
7. Should I send out a wedding invitation to people who I know cannot make it?
Would you be sending them an invitation if you didn’t know they couldn’t make it? If your answer is yes, then send the invitation. If your answer is no, then don’t.
8. Do we send wedding invitations to the people in our wedding party, or can we skip those because they’re obviously going to be there?
Yes, it is proper etiquette to send an invitation to the people in your wedding party. It is also proper to send an invitation to the parents of the bride/groom (unless they are the ones issuing the invitation).
9. How do we word a wedding invitation when we don’t want guests to bring their kids?
The way to indicate who is (and isn’t) invited is by the name(s) written on the envelope. If a person’s name is on the envelope, then they are invited. If the name is not there, then they are not invited.
To indicate that children are invited, write their names on the inner envelope or include the words “and family” after the parent(s) names. If the children are not invited, then it’s just the parent(s) names.
The mention of “no kids” on the invitation is improper etiquette (and who really wants something negative printed on their invitations anyway?). Even “adults only” is technically “not proper.” However putting “adult reception to follow” is fine.
10. Why do wedding invitations have double envelopes?
The double envelope is a throwback from the days before a postal service. Mail was hand delivered, and while en route would get quite dirty. The double envelope allows the deliverer to remove the dirty outer envelope (which has the address of where it is to be delivered), revealing the pristine, clean inner envelope with the names of the recipients.
Do you have other wedding invitation questions? Then you need my book “Wedding Invitations, RSVPs, and More! Oh My!” It’s on Amazon and available in both Kindle and paperback. Buy your copy today!
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Looking for fun ideas, or have other questions about wedding invitations? Contact me today at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!