No one ever likes to talk about the possibility of postponing or cancelling your wedding, but for a variety of reasons it can – and does – happen. We all saw it in 2020 when most weddings scheduled to take place that year were postponed due to the Covid pandemic.
There are guidelines we can share with couples to handle this difficult time in a manner that is as pleasant and civil as possible. Planning such a joyful occasion is a pleasant experience for everyone, and no one goes into planning with the idea that they’ll have to cancel or postpone that event.
If a formal wedding is postponed or canceled after the invitations have gone out, all invited guests must be notified as soon as possible. When time permits, this is best done with printed cards, possibly rush-ordered from your stationer.
Wording Samples for Postponing or Cancelling Your Wedding
1) If the wedding will be postponed due to a death in the family, the card would read:
Mrs. George Franklin Davis
regrets that the death of
Mr. Davis
obliges her to recall the invitations
to the wedding of her daughter
Saturday, the second of April
An invitation recalled in this manner just indicates that the wedding will not take place as originally planned. Once upon a time when the wedding was rescheduled it was often a small affair as a large wedding was considered inappropriate. However, these days, you can go back to your original plans, or change them up completely, whichever feels best to you and your partner.
2) If the wedding has been postponed, and the new date has already been set, new invitations need to be reissued. Here’s a sample of the wording:
Mr. and Mrs. David John Smith
announce that the marriage of their daughter
Kathleen Marie
to
Edward James Hanson
has been postponed from
Saturday, the 10th of June
until
Saturday, the 25th of September
at four o’clock
Grace Presbyterian Church
Pleasantville
3) If the wedding has merely been postponed, but the new date has not been set, the following is sent:
Mr. and Mrs. David John Smith
announce that the marriage of their daughter
Kathleen Marie
to
Edward James Hanson
has been postponed
Updated details will be shared as soon as they’re available
4) If the wedding is canceled, invitations need to be recalled promptly. If there is time to send out a printed card, what should it say? Short, sweet, and to the point is always best, it’s not necessary to give any explanation, such as this example:
Mr. and Mrs. Calvin Benjamin Clark
announce that the marriage of their daughter
Eileen Marie
to
Harold Robert Smith
will not take place.
However, if time is short, and there isn’t enough time to print and mail cards and have them reach guests in time, then invitations may be recalled by personal notes or phone calls. Notes should be patterned after these formats and signed by the person issuing the invitations. Phone calls should be made in the name of the bride’s parents.
Reasons other than death or illness in the family are not usually mentioned. This is not the time to get into big conversations and potential gossip. “Wanted to let you know that the wedding between [name] and [name] won’t be taking place. Sorry, I don’t really have time to talk, as there are other people we need to contact about this.”
Of course, you don’t have to be so formal with wording to postpone or cancel your wedding, especially if the event wasn’t a formal affair to begin with. You can find some cute wording ideas here.
FAQs of Postponing or Cancelling Your Wedding
• How hard is it to cancel a wedding?
Cancelling a wedding really just requires informing all parties (invited guests and hired vendors/service providers).
• What happens with your vendors when a wedding is canceled?
Of course, you should notify your vendors as soon as possible. Whether you will receive a refund of any kind will depend on the agreed upon terms in your vendor contracts and how close to the wedding date the cancellation happens. Your contracts should have some sort of a cancellation/refund policy, so it is likely that you should be able to get back at least a percentage of the payments you’ve made.
• How late is too late to cancel a wedding?
It’s never too late to cancel. You can even cancel right before you are about to say your wedding vows. However, if you are feeling unsure about proceeding with the wedding, it’s best to address it as soon as possible. No one wants the heartache of being left (or leaving someone) at the altar, not to mention that this is highly inconvenient, and unsettling for your guests who took time off from work, and made travel/lodging arrangements to attend your wedding
• Is it normal to want to cancel your wedding?
“Normal” probably isn’t quite the right word, but yes it is possible to love someone but feel that marriage is not the right choice at this time. Or you and your partner may want to get married, but not want a wedding.
• What do we do with any wedding gifts we’ve received?
If you are only postponing the wedding, keeping the gifts is fine. It would be silly to send them back, only to inform your guests of the new date, and them having to send the gift all over again.
However, if the wedding is cancelled, all gifts are to be returned to the person who sent it.
If you have any questions or comments about postposing or cancelling your wedding, let me know in the comments below.
Photo Credit: Lubov Lisitsa via Pixabay
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Author of “Wedding Invitations, RSVPs, and More! Oh My!” and “From ‘I Will’ to ‘I Do’”
Have questions about your wedding plans? Contact me today at [email protected] or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!
