Don’t do your wedding planning online through social media. Or at least be aware of what you’re asking, and what you’re getting.
Social media is a wonderful tool. We can share what’s going on in our lives. We can get a lot of current information. And who can resist those funny dog and cat videos? (Not me!)
But doing your wedding planning online through social media? Social media isn’t necessarily the best source for planning your wedding.
Why Wedding Planning Online Through Social Media Isn’t the Best Way To Go
Facebook (as, I imagine, other platforms as well) is full of posts from engaged couples (mostly brides) who are looking for vendor recommendations for their wedding day.
And honestly, I rarely replied to these posts. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t trying to be mean or withhold information. My reasoning for rarely replying wasn’t because “I’m not giving away information for free!” Although, yes, part of my services (and therefore how I made a living) was being paid for vendor referrals to my couples .
Instead, I rarely replied because the information I would give you may not be the right fit for you.
I’m sure you’ve seen these types of inquiries. (Dates and any identifiable info has been changed to protect the innocent).
• “I’m getting married August 23, 2025 and looking for a good venue for an outdoor ceremony and indoor reception.”
• “Does anyone know of a cheap place in Dayton to get married? Our wedding date is April 12th, 2025.”
• “Looking for a DJ that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg . . .”
• “ISO a good makeup artist for Sept. 27, 2025 wedding.”
• “Looking for an affordable photo booth for a wedding on November 15th”
• “Needing some good recommendations for catering in the area!”
• “Just set the date for Oct 18, 2025. Need a caterer, florist, dj, and photographer.”
So why might the information I give not be the right fit? I know and have worked with lost of different wedding pros, right? Well, it’s not because I don’t have anyone to recommend, but because these requests are too generalized for anyone to truly give you a useful recommendation.
Also, we (and by ‘we’ I mean every wedding pro) are not one-size-fits-all. None of us are the right fit for every event or every couple. None Of Us! NONE. OF. US.
• You say you’re looking for a “good” venue, or makeup artist, or photographer, or . . .
Really, you want someone good? Not someone bad? Not someone who’s just okay? Of course the recommendations we give are “good.” If they weren’t we (and by ‘we’ I mean every wedding pro who offers a recommendation) would be out of business pronto.
• Also, generalized requests tell us nothing about the style and vibe you are going for for your wedding. Funky? Formal? Rustic? Woodsy? Formal garden? Romantic? Whimsical? Modern? Vintage? Art-Deco? The list goes on and on. All can be classified as “good.” But each is totally different than the other, so the list of recommended vendors should be adjusted to fit those differences.
• What size is your wedding? A venue recommendation for a 40 person guest count is way different than one for 200 guests.
• Do you want a relaxed sit-and-chat vibe with background music only, or will you have dinner and dancing? Again, recommendations for these are way different.
• Requesting names of caterers? Then tell us what type of menu you have in mind. Filet mignon? Taco stations? Italian cuisine?
• You want something cheap? Affordable? What is cheap and affordable for one couple is completely different than what’s cheap and affordable for the next. Tell us how much you have budgeted for your venue, or DJ, or . . .
Photographer Rachel Spears said it best when she recently posted on Facebook:
when you’re asking for photographer recommendations, plumber recommendations, painters, landscaping, bakers, designers, makeup artists… ok really, any and all trades that provide services, please remove “reasonable” and “that don’t cost an arm and a leg” from your vocabulary.
1. i can’t pay my mortgage with limbs so i’ve never accepted them as payment.
2. by “reasonable”, you actually mean “within my budget” so say what your budget is instead. someone’s rate isn’t unreasonable because you aren’t willing or able to pay it.
3. consider the ability, professionalism, and experience of vendors whose costs are higher. are they insured? do they pay taxes? are they very good at what they do? their fee will be higher and it should be. that doesn’t mean you have to use their services if it’s outside of your budget. but that also doesn’t mean they are “unreasonable”.
Of course you want your vendors to be “good.” And you don’t want to (or shouldn’t have to) go broke paying for your wedding day. However, you should really be looking (and asking) for vendors who are the right ones for you and your event.
By saying that you shouldn’t do your wedding planning online through social media (even if it’s just a couple vendor recommendations), am I saying that your wedding will turn out bad? Of course not. But, your wedding isn’t like anyone else’s, is it? (Of course not). So why would you settle for the exact same vendor recommendations that everyone else would be getting?
Before I retired from planning, my recommendations were always based on the couple’s specific wedding needs, wishes, and budget. I didn’t do cookie cutter weddings, or make suggestions/recommendations based on anything other what the couple wanted for their wedding day.
And thanks to Rachael Spears for permission to quote from her Facebook post. You can find her online and on Facebook.
Photo Credit: Artistic Films from Pixabay
Join the conversation! Share your thoughts on wedding planning online through social media in the comments below!
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
