While no couple anticipates cancelling or postponing a wedding, unexpected circumstances sometimes make it necessary to adjust plans. Regrettably, it happens—minds change, tragedies occur, financial issues arise. Here are some guidelines for notifying those affected by this change in your wedding plans.
Photo Credit: Anna Khomutova via Pexels
Though this is a deeply personal decision, often accompanied by sadness or even anger, it’s best to notify the people who need to know as soon as possible—ideally within a week of making the decision.
Steps to Postpone Your Wedding Gracefully
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**If postponing a wedding:
If the invitations have been printed but not yet mailed, include a printed card with the new date: “The wedding date has been changed from March 12th to September 5th.” Or, if the new date hasn’t been set yet, you can say, “We have decided to reschedule our celebration for a later date, which we will share as soon as it’s finalized.”
If the invitations have already been mailed, send out a new announcement referencing the first invitation and stating the new date or confirming that the wedding has been postponed. Follow up with phone calls or emails to give guests—especially those who may be traveling—enough time to adjust their plans.
Cancelling a Wedding: What You Need to Know
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**If cancelling a wedding and the invitations have not been sent yet:
If the invitations haven’t gone out, let your family and close friends know by phone or email. Enlist the help of your parents or a sibling if making these calls is too emotionally difficult. Since the invitations haven’t been officially issued, there’s no need to contact the entire guest list unless you’ve sent Save-the-Dates (more on this below).
**If it’s cancelled and the invitations have already been sent:
If the invitations have been sent and there’s time, send a printed card indicating that the wedding will not take place. A reason isn’t necessary—no need to explain unless you feel comfortable doing so.
Example wording:
“Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jones announce that the marriage of their daughter ____________ to ______________ will not take place.”
**If it is canceled and the invitations have been sent:
If you have sent out the invitations, and there is sufficient time, send a printed card stating that the wedding will not take place. A reason why is not necessary (nor is it anyone’s business anyway).
You can also share the postponement or cancellation via your wedding website or a private Facebook group. However, I recommend not relying solely on this method, as guests may not check online sources regularly.
What Happens Next?
When a wedding is called off, questions often arise about what to do with the engagement ring and any gifts received. Traditionally, if the ring giver cancels the wedding, the recipient may keep the ring. However, if the recipient calls off the wedding, etiquette suggests returning it.
As for gifts, it’s always best to return them, as they were given with the expectation of the wedding. A short thank-you note expressing appreciation is a thoughtful touch. If you received any checks or cash, the money needs to be returned as well.
If you’ve set up a registry, take it offline to prevent additional gifts from being purchased. All received gifts should be returned.
All vendors who have been hired need to be notified. Before cancelling, carefully review vendor contracts to see if any portion of deposits is refundable. If postponing your wedding, check whether vendors will transfer deposits to a new date and whether any penalties apply.
How Wedding Insurance Can Help
Wedding insurance can help protect your investment if unforeseen circumstances force you to postpone or cancel your big day. Many policies cover issues like extreme weather, illness, venue closures, or vendor no-shows, helping you recover lost deposits and reschedule with less financial strain. If you’re in the early stages of planning, it’s worth considering a policy to give you peace of mind.
It’s a tough situation, but with these steps, you can handle the postponement or cancellation of your wedding with grace and respect for all involved. Whether you’re postponing a wedding or making the difficult decision to cancel, clear communication is key.
Whether you’re postponing or cancelling your wedding, having a clear plan will make the process smoother. Take it one step at a time, lean on your support system, and remember—your love story is still unfolding, just with a different timeline. Need more wedding planning guidance? Explore more tips and resources here!
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Author of “Wedding Invitations, RSVPs, and More! Oh My!” and “From ‘I Will’ to ‘I Do’”
Whatever you do, don’t just go through with it because you can’t bear everyone being cross with you. I can tell you, people are a lot more angry with you after you’ve spent the first year of marriage trying to work out how you can get out of it! (No, I’m not proud of this!)
I totally agree that it’s best to not go through with plans just to avoid making someone angry. Sorry to hear that you had to go though a bad situation.