In an age when texts and emojis have taken over much of our communication, there’s something deeply meaningful about receiving a handwritten thank you note. Elegant stationery, a few well-chosen words, and a personal touch can go a long way toward making your wedding guests feel truly appreciated.
Photo Credit: The HK Photo Company via Unsplash
Sure, writing dozens (or hundreds!) of thank yous may not be the most exciting post-wedding task, but it’s one of the most important. Here’s how to keep the thank-you note tradition alive—and do it with style and grace.
The Importance of Wedding Thank Yous
Why Handwritten Notes Still Matter
Yes, you can say “thank you” in a text. But there’s something about a handwritten note that makes people feel genuinely seen and appreciated. Why? A text takes no real effort. Type a few keys, hit a button and your done. But a handwritten note takes time and effort on your part. It’s tangible proof that you think enough of them to take the time to express your gratitude—and not just for their gift, but for being part of your celebration.
Plus, let’s be honest: most of your guests spent time, effort, and money to support your big day. A thoughtful note is the least you can do in return.
When to Send Wedding Thank You Cards: Timing Is Everything
The sooner, the better—but don’t panic if you’re a bit behind (better late than never!). Here are the generally accepted guidelines:
How to Stay on Track with Your Thank Yous
• For gifts received before the wedding: Send your thank-you notes within two weeks.
• For gifts received at or after the wedding: You have up to one month after returning from your honeymoon (or after receiving the gift) to send a note.
Pro tip: Don’t wait until all the gifts have rolled in. Start writing notes as soon as the gifts arrive. That way, you’ll avoid drowning in a mountain of stationery later.
Photo Credit: Aaron Burden via Unsplash
What to Write in Your Wedding Thank You Notes
You don’t have to be a poet to write a great thank you note, nor do you have to write an essay. Just follow this simple formula:
1. Greeting – “Dear Aunt Susan,”
2. Thank them for the specific gift – “Thank you so much for the beautiful crystal vase.”
3. Add a personal touch – “We’ve already used it for fresh flowers in the entryway, and it looks perfect!”
4. Closing sentiment – “We were so happy to see you at the wedding. Thanks again for your generosity!”
Example:
Dear Mark and Lisa,
Thank you so much for the generous gift card to our favorite restaurant. We’re looking forward to a romantic dinner there soon—it’ll be such a nice date night after all the wedding excitement. We loved seeing you at the wedding and hope to get together again soon!
Warmly,
Jessica and Sam
Dos and Don’ts of Wedding Thank Yous
Do:
• Use good-quality stationery or cards
• Mention the gift by name
• Be sincere and personal
• Send notes even if you said thank you in person
• Write legibly
Don’t:
• Email or text your thanks (unless you’re following up on a delayed note)
• Mention the monetary value of a gift
• Use generic or templated messages
• Procrastinate until the holidays roll around
Photo Credit: Oberholster Venita via Pixabay
How to Thank Someone for Non-Traditional Gifts
Not all wedding gifts come in boxes with bows. If you registered for non-traditional items—like experiences, gift cards, or even board games—your thank you note should reflect that thoughtful, creative choice.
Need ideas for what to include on your registry? Check out our 7 Wedding Gift Registry Ideas You’ll Really Want for inspiration beyond the blender.
Name Etiquette: Maiden or Married?
If the note is sent before the wedding, use your maiden name in the return address.
For notes sent after the wedding, use your married name (unless you’re keeping your maiden name, of course).
You can also use both your and your partners names, (it is their gift too, after all).
Group Gifts and Tricky Thank You Scenarios
Group Gifts: One Note or Many?
If a group of friends or co-workers went in on a gift together, ideally you’d send a personal note to each contributor. But if the group is large (say, a whole department), a single note addressed to the group is acceptable.
Still, if you have individual relationships with some of the contributors, they’ll appreciate a separate message.
Tricky Situations: What If…?
• You lost track of who gave what: Sometimes the gift tag/card gets separate from the gift itself. Check your gift log, your registry’s gift tracker, or reach out to a friend or family member who might remember.
• You received a duplicate or don’t love the gift: You still thank them sincerely—mention the item and say you appreciate their thoughtfulness.
• You received cash or a check: Say thank you without mentioning the amount. Instead, mention how you plan to use it. (“We’re saving for a new dining table, and your gift will help us get there!”)
Pro Tips for Writing Better Wedding Thank Yous
Dealing with Poor Handwriting? Try This
Do people usually need a Rosetta Stone to decipher your handwriting? Follow these tips to make your handwriting more legible:
• Take your time—slow, steady strokes are easier to read than rushed scribbles
• Use a good-quality pen that glides smoothly (no scratchy dollar-store pens!)
• Write on lined paper or use a guide sheet underneath your stationery
• Print instead of using cursive if your script gets… artistic
• Practice a few sample notes on scrap paper before committing to the real card
• Or just have your partner write the notes and you can add a heartfelt doodle of thanks—stick figures have never looked so grateful!
Tools and Supplies to Make Thank Yous Easier
Stock up on cards, envelopes, and nice pens early. Consider ordering custom thank-you cards that match your wedding colors or theme—they’re a charming touch and make the task feel a bit more fun.
Divide and Conquer: Teamwork Makes the Thank You Work
You don’t have to do it all yourself. Divide the list between you and your partner. If one of you knows certain guests better, let that person write those notes. You can even tag-team them—one writes the note, the other adds a sentence or signs it together.
Keep a spreadsheet or checklist so you can track what’s been written and what’s left.
Final Thoughts: A Small Gesture, A Big Impact
A thank you note is more than a formality—it’s an opportunity to show your guests how much their love and generosity mean to you. So take a moment, grab a pen, and write from the heart.
Your guests will remember it long after the wedding cake is gone.
Ready to tackle your thank yous with confidence?
Whether you’re just starting or nearly finished, a little planning goes a long way. And if you’re looking for more wedding planning tips that are actually helpful (and not overwhelming), be sure to check out the rest of our blog!
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Author of “Wedding Invitations, RSVPs, and More! Oh My!” and “From ‘I Will’ to ‘I Do’”
