Several common thoughts and beliefs come to mind when you hear the word “wedding.” And when planning their wedding, today’s engaged couples can easily get stuck feeling that there are specific ways they should think or things they must do.
Photo Credit: Jens Lindner via Unsplash
They find themselves balancing a desire to incorporate common wedding traditions, while also making a strong, personal impact on this important day. Here are some current ways to add perspective to traditional wedding views and practices—think of this as a wedding myth busters guide providing practical wedding planning advice.
Let’s Bust Some Wedding Myths (So You Can Plan Your Day, Your Way)
Myth: “It’s All About the Bride”
→ Reality: Why Your Wedding Day Is About Both of You
It used to be that everything wedding related was aimed toward the bride. Everything you read said ‘this is YOUR big day!’
Yes, it IS a big day, and the bride is often the centerpiece of much attention. And it used to be that the groom really didn’t have any input in the wedding plans (likely a mix of not being asked for input and lacking interest). Instead, his “job” was to dress in a tux and show up.
Photo Credit: Alexander Mass via Unsplash
But is that idea of “It’s all about me!” really the way to start off a marriage? Of course not. The marriage isn’t about just one person, and the wedding day isn’t just about one person either.
“It’s all about me” in reality is “It’s all about us!” Think of the wedding as “OUR big day,” as it is a day to celebrate you as a couple and the new family you two are creating. A wedding is the union of two families and this event is a celebration of that reality. It is a much broader perspective.
And you want your guests to enjoy themselves too, don’t you? So, in a way, it kind of needs to be about them.
This is one of the most common wedding myths debunked, and it’s the kind of insight that makes wedding planning advice truly useful.
Myth: Personalizing Favors Means Printing Your Names on Everything
→ Wedding Myths Debunked: Personalizing Favors Doesn’t Mean Monogramming Everything
Coasters, shot glasses, bottle openers, sunglasses—you name it, you can put your name on it. Cute? Yes. But will your guests really want something they’ll use every day that has someone else’s names on it? Probably not.
Instead, personalize with removable labels or tags. This is a great example of a small tweak that comes from wedding planning advice that helps you avoid falling for over-the-top traditions.
Myth: “It’s What’s Trending!”
→ Wedding Myths Debunked: Trends Don’t Have to Dictate Your Wedding
Just because something is trending on social media or popular in recent weddings doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Your wedding should reflect your personalities, tastes, and values—not the latest fad. Pick what feels meaningful, and don’t feel pressured to follow every trend you see online.
Photo by Irina Iriser from Pexels
I’ve said it before, I have a love-hate relationship with wedding trends.
It’s fun to see what trends are current, and try to predict what will be trending in the coming year. But trends don’t necessarily equate to what holds meaning or is representative to you and your partner.
Balloon walls, dark and moody color palettes, and smoke bomb exits are just a few examples of what’s trending for 2019 weddings. Google “current wedding trends” and you will find a plethora of fabulous ideas.
But which (if any) should you choose for your own wedding?
Ask yourself, “Would my partner and I have considered doing any of those things if they weren’t considered ‘trends?’”
If the answer is “yes,” then you may want to find a way to include it on your wedding day. And if the answer is “no,” skip it. Trends are meaningless if they don’t hold any importance to you and your partner.
Myth: “It’s Tradition!”
→ Wedding Myths Debunked: Traditions Are Optional, Not Obligatory
While traditions can be fun and meaningful, they aren’t rules you must follow. You get to choose which customs fit your celebration and which ones don’t. The key is to honor what matters to you as a couple rather than blindly following what “should” be done.
Photo Credit: Pedro Pulido via Unsplash
Tradition is important, but like most things, the reasons behind all those traditions have changed, and may not hold any meaning to you and your partner that they may once have 30, 40 or more years ago.
Take the different wedding traditions into consideration and figure out how they can fit into your wedding day. You then have the option to either do a tradition as is, or change it up, or even omit it.
Don’t do something just because “it’s tradition,” especially if it’s a practice that you honestly don’t want to do.
Myth Busters: Guests Expect a Wedding Favor
→ Wedding Myths Debunked: A Thoughtful Experience Beats a Trinket Every Time
Not true! Guests don’t require favors. They don’t need to take home a small box of candy, a seedling tree, or koozies with your names and wedding date on them. Instead, most guests would prefer to enjoy a slice of wedding cake or other little snack at the event rather than carry home a trinket that will just end up in a drawer.
However, if you love the idea of giving gifts to your guests, do it! But don’t feel obligated to send each person home with something small that may go unused. Instead, consider using that budget for something everyone can enjoy, like an upgraded reception experience. This is another common wedding myth debunked with practical wedding planning advice.
Myth: It’s Bad Luck to See Each Other Before the Wedding
→ Wedding Myths Debunked: A First Look Can Be Intimate, Grounding, and Magical
Actually, this tradition is “It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony.” But that originated in the times of arranged marriages. Not seeing her beforehand ensured that the groom wouldn’t call off the wedding because he didn’t like her appearance.
Photo Credit: 550Park Luxury Wedding Films via Unsplash
Unless clearly forbidden in your faith or culture, seeing each other beforehand can be a wonderful experience. Many couples find their wedding day goes by in a blur, and aside from vows and the cake cutting, they rarely get quiet time together.
Your groom is going to think you are beautiful in your gown whether he sees you before you walk down the aisle or as you do. And it doesn’t take away that “moment” of when he first sees you walking down the aisle, because he gets to revel not just in how you look, but in the event that is taking place.
This is a common wedding myth debunked that can make your day feel more grounded and meaningful.
Debunking this common wedding myth can make your day more meaningful.
Myth: Your Wedding Day Is the Most Important Day of Your Life
→ Wedding Myths Debunked: It’s the First of Many Meaningful Milestones Together
It is important, yes! But remember, your life together is just beginning. There will be many milestones ahead. This is the first one, not the only one. Understanding this is part of solid wedding planning advice that helps couples focus on the bigger picture rather than getting overwhelmed by myths or unrealistic expectations.
Heard a wedding myth that needs busting? Share it in the comments and let’s add it to our wedding myth busters guide!
Hearts, Joy, Love!Jean
Author of “Wedding Invitations, RSVPs, and More! Oh My!” and “From ‘I Will’ to ‘I Do’”
