Wedding Q & A – Can You Bring a Guest to a Wedding If the Invitation Did Not Specify and Just Said "We Request the Honor of Your Presence"?

Q. – Can you bring a guest if the wedding invitation did not specify and just said “we request the honor of your presence”?

A. – “We Request the Honor of Your Presence” indicates what is being done – you (singular and plural) are being invited. The “you” is not the specific indication of who is being invited. That is done by the name(s) listed on the inner envelope.

Bride & Groom Q & A – What Does "M______________" Mean

Whose name (or names) is on the inner envelope? This is where you will see who is being invited, and if a +1 has been extended.

  • If it’s just your name, than no, it is not acceptable to bring a guest.
  • If the envelope indicates another person’s name as well as yours, than you may bring that other person, and only that other person (if said other person cannot attend, you may not “swap out” your +1 and bring someone else).
  • If the envelope indicates “and guest” or some other similar type wording, then you may bring one other person of your choosing.

Photo credit: Bryan Gardner

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Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

Be a Good and Gracious Guest – Invitation/RSVP Etiquette

rsvp etiquette

Yes, times have changed.

But . . .

. . . when you receive an invitation to a wedding (or any event, for that matter) there are some obligations on your part. Remember, the people think enough of you to have sent you the invitation. Have a little courtesy to let them know if you will be able to attend.

What is “RSVP”?

This term is from the French. It means “Repondez, s’il vous plait,” or “please reply.”

It has been around for a long time and it is telling you that your host really wants to know if you are coming to his/her event. The expectation is that you will reply promptly.

How do I reply?

You respond in the manner indicated on the invitation.

  • If there is no response card included, send a handwritten response to the host at the return address on the envelope.
  • If there is a response card, fill it in and return it in the envelope provided by the date indicated.
  • If it states “RSVP” and gives a phone number, telephone and speak to a person – answering machines can be unreliable.
  • If it says respond electronically, you may do so.
  • Some invitations state “Regrets Only.” If this is the case, reply only if you cannot attend. If you don’t reply it is the same thing as saying you will attend. You’ll be expected.
  • In the rare instance where no reply is requested, it is still polite to let someone know if you’ll be there. A phone call will work.

Bride & Groom Q & A – What Do I Put On The RSVP Card

What if I change my mind?

  • If you want to change a “yes” to a “no” be aware that it is only acceptable in case of illness, a death in the family or an unavoidable professional or business conflict.Call the host immediately and express regret. Know that being a “no show” is unacceptable.
  • If you want to change a “no” to a “yes” it’s ok only if it will not upset the host or hostess’ arrangements. Always ask before you just show up.

What if I want to bring someone?

Look at the envelope and see whose names are written on it. This will tell you who is being invited.

If the invitation includes the phrase Mr. John Smith and Guest – then yes, you may bring someone else with you if you choose.

If it’s just your name, but you want to bring someone – Don’t!

Don’t even ask! The invitation was extended only to the people whose names are on the invitation and no one else.

Don’t assume you can bring your children to the event. If they were invited the invitation would have said so.

Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

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Weddings From The Heart is a wedding planning, coordinating, and design company based in Dayton, Ohio, also serving southwest Ohio and surrounding areas.

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Whatever your wedding vision, we can bring it to life! Contact me today contact me at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net, at 937-235-2586 or 937-581-3647 so we can chat!

Bride & Groom Q & A – Invitation Wording

invitation names wordingQ – I have a question about my wedding invitation wording. Whose names are supposed to go on the invitation? My FMIL wants their names on there too, but they’re not paying for the wedding!

A – Some people are under the belief that besides the names of the bride and groom, the only other names that are allowed to be listed on the invitation are the bride’s parents, and this is only if they’re paying for the wedding. If the groom’s parents are mentioned as well, they think that it will imply that they are also paying.

Are You Coming? – What to Do When Your Guests Don’t RSVP

But simply having their names on the invitation is not the case. Instead, it is where the names are placed on the invitation that indicates who is hosting, and usually, but not always, paying.

“Mr. and Mrs. Jason Smith request the honour of your presence at marriage of their daughter” clearly indicates that Mr. and Mrs. Smith are doing the inviting, hosting and probably paying.

Having “son of Mr. and Mrs. William Jones” following the groom’s name is merely acknowledging (and honoring) his parents. Having their names here indicates that they are not issuing the invitations, they are not hosting, and they are not paying.

Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

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For more tips and ideas for your wedding, contact me at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net or at 937-235-2586 or 937-581-3647!