Are you feeling a bit let down now that your wedding is over? If you are, you’re not alone. Post wedding depression is a very real thing. Two studies from the University of Kentucky done in 2016 and again in 2018, looked at depression in newly married women.
In the 2016 study of 28 women, nearly half indicated that they felt let down or depressed after their wedding. In a 2018 study of 152 women, 12% reported feeling depressed. But the “blues” are not from a “bad wedding” or the wedding itself. “For even blue brides, none linked their feelings of depression to the wedding itself.”
The weddings themselves seem to have lived up to expectations. Jocelyn Charnas, a New York psychologist, was quoted in the Washington Post article by Maggie Parket as saying, “Like any milestone we look forward to…emptiness or sadness is not uncommon after the fact.”
Makes sense. You’ve just spent 6 – 18 months straight spending so much time on this one thing – planning your wedding. Add to that all of the well wishes, congratulations, and questions about your plans from other people. Once your wedding day has come and gone – that’s all done! Nothing more to plan. No one showing intense interest in what’s going on in your life.
Here are three tips to soothe those post wedding blues, and hopefully avoid them altogether. As you plan your special event:
1. Focus on the Marriage
Focus on the beginning of the marriage as opposed to the end of the wedding. It’s too easy to mourn the loss of a big event on the horizon. Having something to look forward to is a real motivator. [Your wedding, after all, is the ceremony and celebration of your new marriage!]
2. Plan a Date Night
When planning their wedding, couples should pick one night a week to not discuss it. Feel like a couple without a big event on the horizon. [I always recommend that couples have regular “date nights” during their wedding planning stage. No wedding talk, just enjoy each others company and have fun!]
3. Your Honeymoon
Schedule the honeymoon strategically. Charnas suggested waiting to take the trip because that gives the couple something else to look forward to and plan. [For some couples, leaving for their honeymoon a day or two after the wedding is ideal. For others, however, having some “real life” time between the wedding and honeymoon helps put things into perspective.]
For some brides, (and grooms too), it may take awhile to get rid of those feelings; but give yourself time to settle into your new life. If you are still feeling down after six months, Charnas suggested seeking help to cope with depression and get on with your new life.
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
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Weddings From The Heart can help. Contact me today at [email protected] or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!
