OMG! It’s your wedding day and nothing is ready. You forgot to book an officiant, your bridesmaids are MIA, and you’re trying to get ready, but you HAVE NO DRESS!
Bad wedding planning? Nope. It’s just one of those nasty Wedding Nightmares. It’s one thing to dream about your wedding (whether asleep or just daydreaming), but when they take a dark or unhappy turn . . .
Wedding nightmares are more common than you think. According to DreamMoods.com, nearly 40% of engaged people (brides AND grooms) have them. (Personally I think that number is higher).
Although scientists still aren’t 100% sure why we dream, there are several theories. A couple are:
• Dreams help our brains sort through all of the bits of information it collects each day
• Dreams reflect on our emotions
Hmmmm . . . lots of information and emotions. Two things you can’t get away from when planning a wedding.
Of course, you’ll want your wedding, and all the hard work you put into it while planning, to be perfect. So what happens when your head hits that pillow? You go off to dreamland . . . and your wedding concerns (no matter how small and insignificant in real life) become Wedding Nightmares.
6 of the most common of wedding nightmares are:
1. You forgot it was the wedding day, and are running around trying to get to the ceremony on time.
2. The groom is no where to be found.
3. Your wedding dress isn’t the right dress, or even a wedding dress, or even anywhere to be found. Yikes, your wedding dress is missing!
4. You’ve forgotten to book an officiant, so there’s no one to perform the ceremony.
5. You’ve forgotten to book a hairstylist, and have to go down the aisle with “bedhead”.
6. The invitations never got mailed, so there’s no one at the wedding.
Real Wedding Nightmares
Here are several Wedding Nightmares (and variations of the above themes) from real brides just like you:
I had a nightmare that the lead singer of the band was trying to steal my ring, so I basically spent the entire reception running and hiding from him. Makes absolutely no sense and isn’t based on any band interaction, since I have never even interacted with the lead singer!
~ Gray
1. Forgot to book the officiant so we just made speeches “vow-style” at the end of the aisle and forgot to kiss
2. Forgot to mail the invitations so only our parents were there
3. Slept in and had to walk down the aisle with bedhead and no makeup in a nightie
4. A school trip of a mass of children happened to be touring my venue at the same time as my wedding, and they ate all the food before it was served
~ Sara
My continued nightmare is that somehow the wedding happens and only the things I have set in stone right now have been planned. So it gets progressively less scary as we go, and get more planned, but still very stressful. It ends up feeling like I’ve had a 6 month blackout and wake up on my wedding day and when I say “why isn’t my dress altered?” The people around me say “well you didn’t go get any alterations done, you ran out of time”
~ Laura
My first wedding nightmare was that the dress shop was letting people try on my dress as a sample and changed it to a halter neckline. My most recent was fairly typical, that my groom didn’t show up (because he overslept after playing Pokémon Go all morning, which is obviously more specific to our relationship!)
~ Jessica
I had a nightmare no one would help me set up on the day of and my MOH forgot my dress. I also had another dream that it was the day of the wedding and we never found an officiant.
~ Brie
I have had a handful. They all take place day-of and usually have to do with me not being ready in time. One where I had forgotten to book a hair and makeup artist (even though I already had IRL), and one where it was suddenly 30 minutes til the ceremony and I hadn’t even started getting ready yet.
~ Theresa
1. My dad had a few drinks and got emotional and couldn’t walk me down the aisle, causing a scene.
2. Once we finished the ceremony everyone walked out of the church and didn’t wait for us to come down the aisle.
3. Fiancé’s groomsmen were dressed as superheroes.
4. Once we got outside fiancé ran away with his friends and left me and my bridesmaids under a tree.
~ Vickie
1. We got married on a boat and everyone got seasick.
2. I was baking our wedding cake and my engagement ring fell apart without me noticing, so I baked all the diamonds into the cake.
~ Hillary
1. I wore my dress out to get a burger and fries and got ketchup all over it.
2. I forgot to make a hair appointment. I was running around looking for someone to do my hair while the ceremony and reception started without me.
~ Christy
I had a dream I didn’t have enough money to pay my vendors.
~ Jennifer
Had a dream I married a colleague of mine, at the wrong venue, my hair and MUA never showed, and then I found my actual groom after, apologised to him for marrying the wrong person, and then we missed the whole reception because it was at a different venue and we were trying to find it but no one told us where it was.
~ Rylie
My worst one was that my FH decided to marry someone else right before the wedding. It was terrible.
~ Sara
I had a dream that I was on my way to my wedding and realized I didn’t have my dress from my seamstress yet.
~ Amy
My FH has dreams that I cancel the wedding and he has to contact everyone to tell them I left. I just had a dream the other night that I married Harvey Weinstein and had to figure a way out…
~ Helen
I had so many nightmares! One was that I couldn’t find my wedding party. Once I found them, they were all wearing Scottish kilts. In another nightmare, I was unable to make it to my wedding because my hair and makeup gal wouldn’t finish/let me go. I missed my entire wedding. And another, a woman who caused a lot of pain in my (real) life showed up to my wedding and caused hell.
~ Kristin
I had a dream / nightmare that Chipotle (catering) showed up like immediately after everyone ate dinner, but no one could resist burritos, and like everyone ate at least 2 or 3, then everyone was too full to enjoy the dancing and drinking… and in my dream it was the next day and I was at Chipotle screaming at the employees for “surprising us with burritos and ruining my party”
~ Jordan
1. Several dreams of being at the wrong venue! One of them being my parents’ front yard in Nashville (we live in Sacramento)
2. That same dream I had chosen to wear a different dress and realized at the last minute that I wanted to wear my actual dress which was still in Sacramento
3. Bridal party went down the aisle and I wasn’t even ready and had no one to help me
4. No one showed up
~ Tabie
I was getting married and the day of I forgot that I didn’t have my wedding band or my wedding dress!
~ Megan
I had a dream that it was an hour before my ceremony and I didn’t properly schedule hair and makeup so I was scrambling to do my own and it was a mess. My poor fiancé had a nightmare the other night that I cancelled the wedding altogether on him.
~ Jaclyn
I had a nightmare that I was running late in hair and makeup and none of my reception decorations were done…
~ Jenna
I just had a dream last night that I made it to the venue but forgot my dress and all accessories.
~ Destiny
I’ve had one where I woke up so late and by the time I got dressed, tossed my hair in a pony tail, & made it to the venue everyone was already leaving/taking down the tent.
Then I had one where I hadn’t found a dress in time for the wedding and had to sew my own with random bits of fabric – but didn’t realize it was completely see-through till I was half way down the aisle and a groomsman yelled “NIPPLES”!
~ Leslee
I dreamt that I went to my alterations appointment and my dress was made of a trash bag and the skirt was posterboard. Then people were gossiping how it didn’t matter anyways. Fast forward in my dream and my fiancé had called off our wedding but I had gone “Insane” and was refusing to believe he called it off.
We still lived together in my dream. By the end of the dream I had decided to go through with the wedding because I’d just find a new groom and my garbage dress would do just fine.
~ Kelsy
It’s the day of the wedding and I could not move my legs at all, my hair was soaking wet, I had no dress, and I had to crawl into the church. I’m crying that everything is all wrong and no one can hear me. The church is filled with people when it dawns on me, “My wedding is June 22, 2019… not June 22, 2018!” After I had that everyone in the church just said, “Ohhh” and went home.
~ Rachel
I have now had three dreams that I can remember where I didn’t get to my wedding on time and was unable to have my hair and makeup done for the day so I had to look really ugly. Last nights dream was actually about how those other dreams came true.
I had a nightmare about my wedding nightmares. [In another dream] rather than everything going wrong at my wedding, my fiancé was murdered in a bar fight after our engagement party. It took me a minute after waking up to realize he is indeed still alive.
~ Sierra
I’ve been engaged for a year and have 10 months to go, and every couple of weeks I’ll have a dream where it’s my wedding day but I only have whatever I already have planned ready to go. So at first it was that my sister didn’t come because I hadn’t asked her to be my maid of honor yet. Before we booked a photographer I had one where we were doing pictures by iPhone at midnight and my family had already left. Most recently was I was trying to do my own hair and got a curling iron burn on my face! It’s been a trip, and I’m nervous about how bad it will be when I’m actually close to the day!
~ Kelsey
I had a dream the other night we forgot to get our marriage license.
~ Adessa
Just a few nights ago, actually – I was starting to get ready but no one showed up to do my hair. And then my mom made me feel like I should stop being upset because her hair was more important than mine.
~ Molly
I had a dream that I was left at the altar (seriously). While I know this won’t happen – yikes! The other one has been the guests thinking it’s on a different date to the one written on the invitation . . . and so no one shows up.
~ Tessa
My most recent one was we lost my dress somehow. And everyone walked down the aisle and was waiting on me as I tried on 80 different dresses.
~ Haley
But it’s not just the ones getting married that have Wedding Nightmares:
When I was my bestie’s MOH, I had a nightmare that her crazy ex showed up to the wedding! Then she made a game-time decision to get back together with her ex, so everyone left except me… and then the caterer tried to steal her wedding presents! Luckily none of these things actually happened at her real-life wedding. It was a stressful dream!
~ Carolina
So . . .
What Do These Wedding Nightmares Mean?
When these types of dreams and nightmares crop up while you are really planning a wedding, it’s just your brain’s way of dealing with the stresses that come with the territory. Having drama or conflicts with family in real life? Maybe you’re concerned with losing your independence.
All of this comes through while you’re asleep. Even if you’re not readily feeling any stress or concerns during your wedding planning, the brain will still hide away a little nugget or two to play for you in your dreams.
Dreams of forgetting something – like hiring an officiant or getting your dress – is our brain’s way of expressing our desire to have everything in place. This type of dream is simply your desire to not forget something. Or . . . it may be a subconscious way of saying “I wouldn’t mind if this is omitted.”
Messy hair/no hair stylist – Symbolizes uncertainty and confusion in your life – a lack of control. You may be unable to think straight.
Late to your wedding – Signifies a fear of change. You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in real life, or overwhelmed or conflicted with all the decisions you have to deal with.
Being unprepared – These types of wedding nightmares often happen to people who are usually well-prepared in real life, and is just an expression of a fear of not being prepared for such an important day.
The bad wedding guest – Dreaming about a guest acting inappropriately or misbehaving at your wedding? This may be an indicator that you have concerns about that person, or just need a little extra reassurance from that things will work out fine on the wedding day.
Missing groom – A simple explanation could be that you have concerns about your partner’s dependability or trustworthiness. But since this is a dream, the real reason isn’t usually so obvious or straightforward. Instead, it’s more likely that your groom-to-be isn’t as involved in the wedding planning process as you’d like.
Yes, Even Wedding Professionals Have Wedding Nightmares:
I’ve been a wedding planner for nearly 25 years, and occasionally will have a wedding nightmare. The people and the locations are always different (and only exist in my dreams, not real life). In some of my Wedding Nightmares:
• There was no rehearsal
• The wedding party is going down the aisle, but it’s not time for them to do so yet
• None of the set up has even been started
• The decorating isn’t done
• We’re not at the right venue
• The bride went down the aisle first
• I don’t have my timeline or any notes
• Another event is set up in the room we’re supposed to be using
• Some of the wedding party is missing
• The bride is missing
• The groom is missing
Just about everything that can go wrong is going wrong.
Basically, it all boils down to this – because you have a lot of details to be in control over, you want (and need) order, and the assistance and moral support from others (namely your partner and the people in your wedding party), and you want the fruits of your labor to come out the way you’ve intended. And our brains are playing the “What if?” game with us and reminding us of important details.
It’s normal, often frustrating, sometimes amusing — but they’re only dreams.
Dream Moods
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Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Have questions, or need help with your wedding plans? Contact me today at jean@weddingsfromtheheart.net or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!