Why are wedding traditions always being questioned by people who aren’t the couple getting married?
Photo credit: Sweet Ice Cream Photography on Unsplash
- “What Wedding Tradition Would You Be Glad To Bury and Never Encounter Again?”
- “Wedding Traditions Are So Dated and Old-Fashioned”
- “Outdated Wedding Traditions To Abandon”
When on the internet (especially when on social media), wedding professionals are bombarded with questions and posts like these that challenge the use of wedding traditions All. The. Time.
As a “tradition” the very nature of the word means that it is “a long-established custom or belief that has been passed on from one generation to another.”
Although traditions are “long-established customs” they aren’t static, but evolve through the years to conform to the needs and expectations of the current society. One example is the bridal bouquet.
Photo credit: Faye Sommer
Once upon a time, bridal bouquets were bouquets of herbs, not flowers. And stinky herbs too, to ward off evil spirits who wanted to cause trouble on the bride’s wedding day. Eventually society realized the need to ward off “evil spirits” was unnecessary, and the stinky herb bouquet became beautiful floral bouquets.
But back to the question of “What Wedding Tradition Would You Be Glad To Bury?”
In my honest opinion – Who cares what we don’t want to see? I mean, it’s not our wedding, so why can’t we be content to let the couple who is getting married do what they want without any judgement or online eyerolling?
Sure, we may have seen a particular tradition, design motif, or whatever done countless times (And why wouldn’t we? We’re in the business of organizing many weddings). But just because we’ve seen it over and over again, it’s very likely to be “new and fresh” to the couple and to their guests, who haven’t attended other weddings (or maybe just one or two), and therefore haven’t seen the tradition/decor idea in question.
What Is Our Role In the Wedding?
If we’re hired for said wedding, we need to take our role into consideration. Are we being paid to plan the ceremony and reception? Design the look? Or merely coordinate, implement, and oversee what the happy couple have planned themselves?
And What We Can Do About It
If it’s the latter, we can step back and do what the couple has hired us to do. Or decline the job if the tradition/décor idea in question is really that bothersome.
On the other hand, if it’s for planning and/or designing – we have the opportunity to not “bury” the tradition, but instead offer up new ways to achieving the look, feel, style, and formality that the couple wants for their wedding day.
Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?
Well, it’s certainly not my wedding. (That took place in 1988. Yes, over 30 years ago – beautiful sunny fall day. . .).
And it’s not your wedding.
It is the wedding of the couple who is getting married.
So we have options.
1. Provide what the client wants – precisely they way they’ve described what they’re thinking of.
2. Provide what the client wants – but offer suggestions, inspiration, and ideas that will enhance their wedding style and what they have in mind.
3. Decline the event and not worry about it at all.
“But I can’t have that in my portfolio!”
Easy. Don’t include it in your portfolio.
There are some weddings I have planned and/or coordinated, but have chosen to not show photographs of to potential clients, mainly because the design aesthetic doesn’t represent my “brand.” (And there are weddings that I never managed to get any good photos from, but would have loved to show them off – but that’s another story).
Anyway, back to the photos I have chosen not to show, and the weddings and couples they belong to. Did the wedding really look “bad?” Did the inclusion of wedding traditions cause any issue for anyone in attendance? No and no.
And, at the end of the evening, those couples were happy with how their wedding day turned out.
Isn’t that what we should be concerned about?
What do you think of wedding traditions? Let me know what you think in the comments below.
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
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