Are you the Best Man, the Maid of Honor, the Father of the Bride, or Father of the Groom? If so, chances are very good that you will be giving a wedding toast at the reception (or at least asked to do so).
Photo Credit: Faye Sommer Photography
If you aren’t one who usually likes the limelight (even for just a few minutes), don’t feel like you are being put upon. Being asked to offer some words at the reception is an honor. Think of it this way – you already play a special role in the bride and groom’s lives. By wanting you to make a toast at their reception, they are entrusting you with a special responsibility on what is one of the happiest and most important days of their lives.
Typically the order and number of speeches are carefully planned out in advance. This helps to keep the reception timeline on schedule, and limits any unwanted impromptu toasts – some people just aren’t comfortable if handed a mic, and some people should never be handed a mic, (yeah, we’ve all seen that person).
If you lucky enough to have been chosen to give a toast (and I don’t mean “lucky” in a tongue-in-cheek/sarcastic way – being asked to give a toast really is an honor), here are some things to keep in mind:
1. Make your speech personal – if you aren’t related to either the bride or groom, be sure to say how you met them. Even if you are related, mention this. Not every guest will know that you are a brother or cousin.
2. A touch of humor (note that I said a touch) is a good thing. But don’t make tasteless jokes or launch into a litany of “Have you heard this one?” This is not the local comedy club.
3. Be sure to thank those who deserve it, but keep this list brief. If it’s too long, your toast will quickly get boring, and several of the guests may begin to drift off.
Photo Credit: openField photography
4.You need a strong opening (attention getter) when giving a wedding toast, and a strong but memorable closing, so how about using a quote or two? Google “Wedding Toast Quotes” for lots of inspiration. Likewise – a strong closing is also enhanced by a quote. Don’t forget about poems or song lyrics.
5. The ideal length of a wedding toast or speech is only 2-3 minutes, 5 minutes at the absolute max. When in doubt, “Short and Sweet” generally is best.
6. If you are expected to be giving a wedding toast, go easy on the alcohol before it’s your turn to speak! Too many participants who have had a few drinks prior to their turn at the microphone end up rambling on and falling in love with their own voice. Sure, you can blame it on the sauce, but, don’t be that person.
7. Prepare and practice what you plan to say before the big day. And yes, it is perfectly acceptable to read it if you need to. Don’t plan to wing it. Never, ever wing it.
8. This should go without saying, but . . . when giving a wedding toast (or any time for that matter) never make racist remarks, make fun of the family tree, or someone’s culture. Listeners will have zero tolerance for the use of profanities, sexual innuendos, or remarks that may hurt the feelings of others. Your goal as a toast-giver is to enhance the celebration.
Do you have any other tips or suggestions for giving a wedding toast? Leave a comment below!
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
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