I’m always a bit curious when I see articles about the secrets wedding planners don’t tell you. Some of the wedding planner secrets that this article says we don’t tell are spot on, such as not telling you to “Not To Read The Contract.” (Yes, READ Them, All Of Them!).
However there were several “don’t tells” that I don’t agree with and some that I don’t tell because it’s just not so.
“Why would there be something my planner won’t tell me?” you may ask. Most likely it’s because sharing that particular bit of info may cause more harm than good, and cause undue focus on something, such as “They Won’t Always Like Your Mom.” I mean, how would you feel if your planner said they don’t like your mom, (unless you don’t like your mom all that much either)?
So, what are some of the “secrets wedding planners don’t tell you” items that aren’t quite so?
1) The Planner Answers To The One Who’s Paying
Not exactly so.
Yes, it is important that the person who is paying for the wedding gets some say so in the wedding plans. But there needs to be a balance, cooperation, and sometimes compromise between the person/people who are paying and the two people who are ones actually getting married.
I mean, whose wedding is it, after all? Aren’t those the people that we as planners, as well as the djs, photographers, etc., should answer to?
But as planners, we need to make sure that the couple’s decisions are realistic, (but we’re going to do that regardless of who is paying, right?)
Also, from a legal standpoint, we should be listening to the person who signed the contract, as that is who we’ve entered into this agreement with.
2. The Suppliers Are Their Friends
Not (always) true.
Sometimes we’re friends, sometimes not. On occasion they may be someone we’d never be friends with. But always, the suppliers we recommend
- are people and companies that we trust,
- provide a product/service and professionalism that we believe in,
- and are highly confident that they are the best fit for you and your wedding.
3. Planners Hate Pinterest
Not (usually) true.
Pinterest is a wonderful tool, when it used right. After all, like they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. And in the visual world of weddings, a picture often can get an idea across when mere words won’t cut it.
However, Pinterest should be used for inspiration, and to gather ideas of what you like and don’t like. Take bits from one pin, and bits from another, and mix in some of your own ideas to create YOUR wedding.
Pinterest should not be used like a pseudo-catalog, to be exactly reproduced precisely as seen in any particular pin. For one thing, this takes your personal spin out of the equation. Also, recreating a pin will no doubt be crazy expensive. Pinterest pins (and often times styled photo shoots) are much more elaborate than ‘real life,’ and will cost quite a bit to reproduce for 10, 15, maybe even 20 tables.
4. Don’t Tell Suppliers You’re Getting Married
Not true.
If you call your wedding reception a ‘party’ and don’t say that it is a wedding, you are essentially lying by omission. Not a way to win the trust of any supplier. And playing such a fake-out game can make a supplier not interested to put their all into creating their portion of your ‘party.’
You want to be able to trust your vendor team, right? Well, we want to be able to trust you too.
5. Forget DIY
Nope, not true either.
Personally I love DIY, and am quite crafty. But I know my limits.
If you are considering any DIY, you should know your limits too. What is your skill set in a particular DIY project? Do you have the time to truly put into that project? How many DIY projects are you seriously planning to take on?
Don’t make yourself crazy by trying to do too many projects. At some point you will get burned out, start to hurry through a project so you can check it off your to-do list, and generally make yourself sick of wedding plans altogether.
6. They Lie About The Time
No we don’t.
We will tell you that ‘wedding time’ is not the same as ‘regular time’ and that things will take longer.
We will also stress arrival times, not start times. Yeah, telling you (and your wedding party) that you are needed at 4:00 for a 4:30 photo start time is fine. That is not a lie.
7. They Do Everyone’s Job
No, we don’t do this either.
Sorry, we are not jack-of-all-trades. I firmly believe in the adage, “jack of all trades (master of none). Besides, correcting the set-up of name cards, or giving a bouquet or boutonniere a little fix is not ‘doing someone else’s job’.
8. They Genuinely Love Weddings
Yes we do! And we are happy to tell you so.
OMG! Why wouldn’t we tell you this?
After 25 years in the business, I still cry at weddings. I love weddings, love what I do, and I’m gonna tell you so.
I’m sure you’re curious about what the other 22 “Secrets” are. Here’s the original article: “30 Secrets Wedding Planners Will Never Tell You
So, what do you think about these secrets wedding planners don’t tell? Wedding planners/vendors/suppliers/pros AND brides/grooms who are planning a wedding, what is your take? Let me know in the comments below.
Photo Credit:
Alicia Chenaux via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Looking for fun ideas, or need help with your wedding plans?
Weddings From The Heart can help. Contact me today at [email protected] or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!
You’re so so right!!! The only language they understand is money and who is paying more…I am talking from personal experience.
It’s sad when money becomes the most important thing. Helping make a day that leaves the happy couple smiling all day long is the thing.
This is great to know! Having just gotten married last year with a coordinator, not a planner (although one would have been awesome!) and my sister getting married this February with a wedding planner – this information is still so fresh in my memory. It really is a tough job that takes a lot of patience and communication skills. Definitely worth it to have one to reduce stress on the day!
Open communication is a must. Having a coordinator lets the couple relax and enjoy the day. I tell my couples that their job on the wedding day is to look gorgeous and have fun. My job it to make sure that everything happens.
Good information in addressing some assumptions. A good wedding planner is always a must! Cheers!
Can couples plan a wedding without the benefit of a planner? Of course they can. But, we’re here to help make the process better, easier, stress-free, etc. Thank for your belief in wedding planners.
It always surprises me when these lists come out claiming that all of a certain type of people or job description does “this” or doesn’t do “that” or thinks “this.” Everybody is an individual, including wedding planners. While you can always find a case where these things can be true, you can also find a case where it isn’t.
Most definitely. While it’s important to “stay in our own lane,” we still have to avoid the “not my job” mentality.
I love wedding planners. They take so much of hard works to couples getting married.
Us wedding planners appreciate the love. Thank you.
Thank you for this blog. This is very interesting topic. And this is the first time Iam hearing about this concept
Thanks. After over 25 years in the business of weddings, I’m always coming across new takes on things. It still surprises me when I see things that aren’t “quite right.”
Haha this is so cute. It’s a fun read. I love wedding facts so much.
Glad you enjoyed it. I’m happy to share wedding info, facts, and other forms of inspiration.
I would expect for a wedding planner to be a great communicator as well, to be able to mediate between the couple’s wishes and their own experience, and guide them on the right path when it comes to a tasteful wedding.
Absolutely. Communication is key. You are so right when you say “guide them.”
Wedding planning is very stressful, and these secrets are really stress free, Thanks for sharing meaningful information.
A big part of our job as a wedding planner is to keep things stress-free for the couple.
I wish I knew these when I was planning my wedding!
I’m sure your wedding was lovely.
This is so interesting! Thanks for a glimpse behind the scenes. It’s good to know that the planner is usually on the Bride and Groom’s side. Especially with the DIY stuff and with answering to the one who’s paying.
It’s their wedding after all. I don’t understand how some planners claim to answer to who is paying if the payer is not the one getting married.
Hahaha yeah so true! Pinterest is the worst – everyone wants what on the picture but with $10 budget! 🙂
Sometimes we have to be the voice of reason and get creative in figuring out how to achieve a certain “look” or “feel” but with a smaller budget.
It’s good to know wedding planners enjoy weddings. After all, they need to know to put the best one in their client’s eyes!
With all of the variety, there’s so much to love. Besides, if we don’t love weddings, why are we planning them in the first place?