Q. – Regarding the invitation plus one, is it rude to bring a friend to a wedding as my plus-one?
A. – One of the biggest conundrums wedding guests have has to do with the invitation plus one, (sometimes referred to as + 1), with your invited guest usually wondering if they can bring someone, and if so, who.
When you receive a wedding invitation, it is incredibly easy to determine if a plus-one has been extended. Look at the envelope. Does it show your name only, or is it your name and “+1”, “plus-one,” “and guest,” or something similar? If so, than you can bring a plus-one. If the envelope has your name only, then no plus-one has been invited. Simple as that.
Now on to when you have an invitation plus one, and who you can bring . . .
Plus-ones are generally extended to people who are in a relationship, whether it be married, engaged, or an otherwise serious relationship. However, if you are in a serious relationship, the courteous thing for the hosts to do is to make the effort to find out your partner’s name, then include it on the envelope, instead of merely writing a generic “plus-one” or “and guest.”
So what to do if you aren’t in a serious relationship and don’t fit into one of those categories? Well, what not to do is to find a date on Tinder or ask just anyone to accompany you just for the sake of having a date.
Now back to the original question – can you bring a friend as your plus-one, or would that be rude? If the invitation plus-one doesn’t state a specific name, the hosts are giving you the option to bring someone with you, so a friend would fit the bill. Be mindful of who you bring, as this is not the time to be partying with your friend, and you are not at the club with your pal. You’re at a wedding, so make sure you both behave accordingly.
However, if you are still unsure, it is perfectly ok to ask the couple. “Hey, thanks for the invitation plus-one, but I’m not seeing anyone right now. Is it ok if I bring [name of the person you are considering, and how you know them (if the couple doesn’t know them)].”
One more note about “plus-ones.” If the envelope states your name and the name of a specific person, then you can bring only that other person. If that person is unable to attend, do not bring someone else, and do not ask if you can bring someone else.
Photo Credit: Whitney via Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
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