The Real Truth About Wedding Wishing Wells

Yet again, you can’t believe everything you see online. And this one is also a great example of “everything old is new again.” What is it this time? That wedding wishing wells are a new way for couples to not just receive monetary gifts instead of a physical gift, but to let their guests know that they prefer a gift of money.

wedding wishing wellsPhoto Credit: Rachel Pearcy bia Pixabay

As a long-time wedding professional (27 years as a wedding planner/coordinator and 14+ years as a wedding blogger), Brides magazine (print and online) has been a favorite of mine to learn of the latest in the wedding world. And I’ve happily shared their posts on my Facebook page.

The Evolution of Wedding Wishing Wells

However, I must say that I was surprised when I read a recent article on their website regarding wishing wells at weddings. While wishing wells are a great option for any wedding, they are far from a new concept and were, in fact, a popular sight at wedding receptions years ago.

Through the years, in keeping with the desire to coordinate with the wedding reception décor and theme, the wedding wishing well itself has given way to the more common sight of baskets, wooden boxes, and bird cages (all of which can be readily found in the wedding aisle of most stores). As we regularly see in everyday life, things go in and out of style. This is no different with weddings.

satin and lace wishing well
The white lace & satin wedding wishing well that many of my couples used. I still have it in storage. (circa 1995-1996)

Yet, regardless of the style of receptacle, the point of having a wishing well/box/birdcage has remained the same – to provide a safe and easy location for guests to place any monetary gifts that they have chosen to give the newlyweds. And since the wishing well/box/birdcage is often placed on the gift table, it’s purpose is relatively obvious. No prior explanation is necessary.

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Don’t Include Wedding Wishing Well Information In The Invitation

The article went on to say that wedding wishing wells are a fun way to make it look like the couple isn’t asking for money, but then later contradicts itself by saying that this information should be included with the invitation. The bottom line is that including such information in the invitation is a major faux pas.

The mention of gifts, including monetary ones, (and even the mention of “no gifts”) simply has no place in the invitation. Why? Because when you include such information, you are in fact asking for gifts. Attending a wedding carries no obligation to give a gift.

wedding card boxPhoto Credit: Erin (InspireCreateCelebrate) via Pixabay

Remember, the only purpose of the invitation and its enclosures is to give the guest the information they need to attend. All other information should be relayed either via word of mouth or on a wedding website. Do people include registry info with their invitations? Of course some do. But it doesn’t make it right.

Well Wishes Done Right

Now the idea of having a fun way for guests to share their well wishes to the newlyweds is a lovely idea. But having a wishing well for wishes is not to be confused with a charming location to place a gift (and yes, cash or check is a gift). And let’s never forget, (it bears repeating), attending a wedding carries no obligation to give a gift of any type.

Oh, here’s where you can see the article in question, in case you’re interested.

Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean

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Author of “Wedding Invitations, RSVPs, and More! Oh My!”  and “From ‘I Will’ to ‘I Do’”

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Looking for fun ideas, or need help with your wedding plans? Contact me today at [email protected] or by phone or text at 937-581-3647!

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