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Writing your own wedding vows is a deeply personal and meaningful way to express the unique bond you share with your partner. Since the words you choose are powerful as they encapsulate the essence of your love story, and a special way to make your wedding uniquely yours, more and more couples are writing their own wedding vows. If that is in your plans, here are some things to keep in mind for writing your own wedding vows.
But it takes more than just sitting down and writing up how much you love your partner and can’t wait to start the rest of your life together. In this blog post, we’ll explore 8 different tips to help you with your vows and how to eloquently capture the promises that will shape the foundation of your marital journey.
Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
1) This can be a huge undertaking. It is like being an author/poet and public speaker at the same time. Some people can pull it off and others can’t. Think about it clearly before you commit to making it an integral part of your ceremony.
2) Make sure it’s even possible. Many churches don’t allow personalized vows. Instead couples are required to recite a specific and traditional set of vows. Even officiants who “Okay” the concept may want to have final approval of what you have chosen to say.
3) Start early. You may have learned to cram for finals in college, but when writing wedding vows, it’s not the time or place to just “jot down a few ideas the night before and wing it.”
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4) Make sure that both of you are on the same page. The bride may have something serious and somber in mind, while the groom is thinking funny and light. Talk about the tone of the vows that will work for both of you. Pick a common theme to guide you both. Consider this – do you want to know what he/she will say before the ceremony or is it to be a surprise?
5) Feel free to copy words or ideas from books or plays. Quote a famous poet or author whose work resonates with you—sometimes, the perfect words have already been written. Whether it’s a Shakespearean sonnet, a line from a favorite novel, or even lyrics from a meaningful song, borrowing a beautiful phrase can add depth and emotion to your vows.
6) Remember what the point of your wedding vow really is. It is a solemn promise, a verbal contract if you will. Don’t make the vows so personal that no one knows what you are talking about – this is not the time or place for “inside jokes.”
7) Time how long it takes to say your vows, and adjust accordingly. One minute or so is usually enough to express your love without losing your guests’ attention. If your vows are running long, look for spots to trim without losing meaning—short and heartfelt is always better than long and rambling!
8) Practice, Practice, Practice (But No Need to Memorize!)
The key to delivering heartfelt wedding vows is practice—but don’t stress about memorizing them perfectly. Rehearsing your vows out loud helps with pacing, pronunciation, and confidence, but on the big day, emotions will be running high. Even the most seasoned public speakers bring notes for important speeches!
Having your vows written down ensures you won’t stumble or forget a meaningful line in the moment. Beautifully designed His and Hers Wedding Vow Booklets (like these) make a stylish and sentimental way to keep your vows handy. Plus, they make a wonderful keepsake to treasure long after the wedding.
Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to personalize your ceremony and share your love in your own words. Whether you keep them short and sweet or weave in poetic verses, the most important thing is that they come from the heart. Take your time, practice, and don’t be afraid to let your emotions shine through.
Are you writing your own vows? Share your biggest challenge or best tip in the comments—we’d love to hear your thoughts! And if you need a stylish way to keep your vows handy on the big day, check out these elegant his and hers vow booklets —a perfect keepsake for your special words.
Hearts, Joy, Love!Jean