If you’re new to this tradition, you may want to start with Part 1, where we explore the history, meaning, and symbolism of a handfasting ceremony.
Photo Credit: ID 293149251 | Handfasting © Michal Ficel | Dreamstime.com
Now that you’ve explored the meaning, history, and symbolism of a handfasting ceremony in Part 1, it’s time to bring the ritual to life. In this post, we’ll dive into handfasting cords, decorative and ceremonial knots, and examples of handfasting ceremony wording. Whether you’re tying the knot yourself, involving loved ones, or working with an officiant, this guide will help you plan a meaningful and memorable handfasting ritual.
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Whether you plan to have the officiant tie the cords, have the couple do it themselves, or involve family and friends, the steps are flexible and can be tailored to fit your vision. Below, we’ll walk through the different types of knots, step-by-step tying instructions, and ideas for words and cords so you can create a handfasting that feels truly unique.
Decorative Knot Styles and Their Meanings
Knots: Decorative and Ceremony Styles
Handfasting cords may feature two types of knots:
1. Decorative Knots – pre-tied into the cord before the ceremony and incorporated into the cord design
Infinity / Unity Knot
Represents an unbreakable, everlasting commitment. Despite its intricate appearance, it is relatively simple to tie and is also commonly used during the ceremony.
Love Knot
Symbolizes the deep connection between two people and their enduring love.
Celtic Knot / Celtic Heart Knot
Reflects heritage and the idea of two lives becoming intricately intertwined.
Triple Knot
Often incorporates three colors and may represent the Holy Trinity, the Triple Goddess, or other trinities.
Josephine Knot
A traditional “lover’s knot” symbolizing eternal love, intertwined lives, and good fortune.
2. Ceremony Knots – tied during the handfasting as part of the ritual
During the ceremony, the cord can be tied using different methods, including:
Simple Wrap / Loose Knot
After the cords or ribbons are draped across the couple’s joined hands, a simple knot is tied with the hanging ends.
Wrap, Release, and Pull
In this method, the cords are arranged around the couple’s hands. When they release their hands and pull the ends, the knot forms naturally.
One of the most popular versions of this style is the Infinity Knot (Unity Knot). When completed, the knot remains in the center of the cord as a visual reminder of the vows.
A step-by-step example of tying the knot is shown in this video: How to Tie an Infinity Knot
Photo Credit: ms28552 via Flickr CC by 2.0
How to Perform a Handfasting Ceremony
Handfasting ceremonies can be performed in several ways, depending on the couple’s preferences.
Who Ties the Knots?
The Officiant Ties The Knot
• The couple joins hands (often their left hands).
• The officiant drapes the cord evenly over the joined hands.
• After a few words are spoken, the officiant loops each end of the cord over the hands.
• The officiant ties a knot beneath the couple’s hands.
The Couple Ties The Knot
In some ceremonies, the couple actively participates in tying the knot themselves.
1. The couple joins their right hands, often by clasping each other’s wrists.
2. The officiant drapes the cord over their hands, ensuring the ends are even.
3. The officiant loops one end of the cord under one wrist and secures it beneath the partner’s thumb.
4. The same step is repeated with the opposite end.
5. The couple gently pulls their ends of the cord toward themselves, completing the knot.
This video example helps to show how easy this really is.
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Involving Family and Friends
Couples may also invite loved ones to participate by each tying a knot in the cord. This symbolizes their support and blessing for the marriage.
The Basics of Tying a Knot
At its simplest, a handfasting ceremony can be very straightforward.
1. The couple joins hands.
2. The officiant drapes a cord over the clasped hands.
3. One or more knots are tied below the hands.
Even this simple version still beautifully represents the couple’s act of “tying the knot.”
Using 2 Cords or Ribbons
1. Have the couple face each other and join hands.
2. Pass the first cord underneath their joined hands so that one partner can grasp one end of the cord in each hand.
3. Drape the second cord over the other partner’s wrists. Pass one end underneath so it can be clasped in the opposite hand, then repeat with the other end.
4. Once each partner is holding the ends of the cords, they release their joined hands and gently pull the cords toward themselves.
5. As the cords tighten, they form a knot symbolizing the couple’s union.
Don’t worry if it feels a little confusing at first. Once you see it demonstrated, the motion becomes quite simple.
Infinity Knot
1. Join hands. The couple faces each other and joins their right hands, or clasps wrists.
2. Drape the cord. The officiant places the cord evenly across the joined hands.
3. Create the loop. The cord ends cross over the top of the hands, forming a figure-eight.
4. Tuck and pull. The ends pass underneath the hands and through the loop, forming the infinity shape.
5. Remove hands. The couple slides their hands out, leaving the knot intact as a keepsake.
Another Knot Option
1. The couple joins hands.
2. The officiant centers the cord, creating a loop, and drapes it over the hands, with the loop on the further side (closest to the guests), and both ends closest to the officiant.
3. One at a time, pass each end under the hands and through outer side (closest to the guests) of the loop.
4. The cords are adjusted and tied below the hands.
Pro Tip: Regardless of the knot tying method used, when placing the cords on the couple’s hands, avoid tightening them too much, as the couple should be able to easily slide their hands out once the knot is formed.
Before choosing a cord, tying the knot, or deciding who will do the tying, it’s worth pausing to think about the words that will accompany this symbolic act. The beauty of a handfasting isn’t just in the cords or knots—it’s in the promises being made, the vows being spoken, and the intentions being set. Whether it’s part of your personal vows or offered as a blessing by your officiant, the words you choose can deepen the meaning of the ritual and leave a lasting impression on everyone witnessing the ceremony.
Handfasting Ceremony Wording: What to Say During the Ritual
The words spoken during the handfasting can be part of the couple’s vows or spoken by the officiant as a blessing.
For example, the couple may choose to incorporate the symbolism directly into their vows:
“With this cord, I bind my heart to yours, my soul to yours, my life to yours. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, in times of joy and sorrow, in laughter and tears, for as long as we both shall live”
Alternatively, the officiant may speak a blessing while the cord is placed around the couple’s hands:
“May these hands be blessed this day. May they always hold each other. May they have the strength to hang on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. May they remain tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love”
The words used during the handfasting can be spiritual, traditional, modern, or simply short and sweet. What matters most is that they reflect the couple’s relationship and the promises they are making to one another.
If you are incorporating a handfasting ceremony, be sure to discuss the timing with your officiant so the wording and the knot tying flow smoothly within the ceremony.
Where to Get Handfasting Cords for Your Ceremony
Photo Credit: Jean Neuhart | Weddings From The Heart
You can purchase a handfasting cord from sources like Etsy or Amazon, where you’ll find a wide variety of colors and fabrics, including braided cords, satin ribbons, velvet, lace, and tartans.
Wondering how to make a handfasting cord? If you’re feeling crafty, you can also make your own cord, which is easier than it looks (I made one for a presentation on unity candle alternatives and cultural ceremony traditions. I chose the bee charm, which represents wisdom, magic, and romance, and the leaf which symbolizes growth, fertility, harmony with nature, and the strengthening of a new union).
Here’s a simple way to create your own:
1. Choose your materials. Ribbon, cord, or lace all work well.
2. Cut the strands. Use 3–7 strands, each 1–2 yards long (I recommend at least 1.5 yards).
3. Braid the strands.
4. Add charms or tassels if desired, for a personal touch or symbolic meaning.
Photo Credit: Jean Neuhart | Weddings From The Heart
Pro Tip: When selecting colors or charms, think about the promises, qualities, or traditions you want the cord to represent—it’s a simple way to make this symbolic keepsake uniquely yours.
A handfasting ceremony is a meaningful way to honor tradition while personalizing your vows. From choosing cords and charms to tying the knots and speaking your intentions, every detail is an opportunity to celebrate your love. Take your time, plan the ritual that feels right for you, and enjoy creating a keepsake you’ll treasure forever. For more wedding planning guidance and inspiration, explore the resources on Weddings From The Heart to help make your day as stress-free and meaningful as possible.
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Hearts, Joy, Love!
Jean
Author of “Wedding Invitations, RSVPs, and More! Oh My!” and “From ‘I Will’ to ‘I Do’”
