The Truth About “Shoulds” and “Have-tos” When Planning Your Wedding

Don't Should Yourself - Shoulds and Have-tos in Weddings “Don’t ‘Should’ Yourself” ~ This quote by Evelyn Kalinosky is a wonderful life motto.

Although this was found in a list of several inspirational life quotes, it applies to weddings and wedding planning too.

Since most of you have never planned a wedding before, one thing that’s probably on the forefront of your mind is “What am I supposed to do.”

There has been so much written about planning a wedding, and what is supposed to be done (during the planning stage and on the wedding day itself) that it is too easy to get caught up in what “should” be done.

Well, as this fabulous quote states, “Don’t ‘should’ yourself.”

In fact, there are really only two things that “should” be done, 1) get a marriage license, and 2) make sure the person who is performing the ceremony can legally do so.

Everything else is optional.

Here are some “shoulds”and “have-tos,” and the real-life options some of my brides and grooms have done instead.

A wedding reception should have a cake.
Believe it or not, but not everyone likes cake. One couple served flan (their favorite dessert), and had an ice cream buffet instead of wedding cake – and their guests LOVED it.

Need vs Want: What Do You Need to Get Married?

Bridesmaids should carry bouquets.
The bride chose lovely satin clutches in her wedding colors for her ladies to carry. The clutches looked lovely with their dresses, and they had a keepsake they could use for years to come.

You have-to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Life isn’t symmetrical! Several of my couples had uneven numbers in their bridal party. Think of it this way – a lucky lady gets to walk with two guys, or fella with two ladies.

The bride’s attendants should be female (or the groom’s attendants have to be male).
One of my bride’s best buddies was a man. He walked down the aisle in the processional and stood on her side during the ceremony.

You should choose ‘fall colors’ if your wedding is in September or October or ‘spring’ colors for a May wedding.
Sure, each season has it’s own unique color pallette, but you aren’t limited to those colors for your wedding. Pick colors that you like, and have meaning for you. Several of my brides have gone “non-seasonal” in their color schemes, including black with red and yellow accents for a May wedding, and light pink with white and dark pink accents for an October wedding.

For more inspirational life quotes, check out Inner Affluence by Evelyn Kalinosky.

Hearts, Joy, Love!

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If you want more ideas, or need help with your wedding plans contact me at or at 937-235-2586 or 937-581-3647!

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